The Warriors Get Technologo
by Skrubface of ThunderClan
Summary: "Actually, it's technology-" SHUT UP TIGERSTAR! So, as you can see, the Warriors get stuff like TV's and cPhones and stuff like that. Enjoy! (Oh god I suck at summaries...) Update: This story has become a wide variety of random humor. It is no longer only about Warriors getting technology.
1. Chapter 1

**YASSSSSSSS! NOOO STOOR EZ!**

 **yeah, the clans are f**ked**

"Hello, you worthless pieces of trash!" Bramblestar said to him a cats

I found this unusual thing in this Twoleg den I saw in the Twolegplace...

There was this thing that was called Catizon... And it sold these things called cPhones, Catsums, Brindle Water... And TV's..."

"Oh ohh I have a question!" There was a scream from Lilyheart below. "How can cats read?"

"Lilyheart, f*** you and that question. Now, let me hand you your cPhones. Catsums and Brindle Waters are for SKRUUBBZBZBZBBZ!"

Squirrelflight was raging. "Bramblestar, this game is impossibullcrap!"

"What game is it?" Bramblestar gently said to his mate.

"The Very Easy 4-Piece Puzzle Game for Kits..."

"..." Bramblestar silenced...

Lilyheart raised her paw. "OHH OHH MEMEMEMEMEMEME!"

Bramblestar groaned. "What?"

"Ha-How do you- uh... Ho-how do you silence?" She stammered like a kit.

"Stop breaking the fourth wall, you know what that led to in Skrubkit's-"

"Hey, Bramblestar!" Cloudtail said. "There's nothing on the TV!"

"Well, Cloudtail, you need to make TV PROGRAMS."

Like he knew what that meant, Cloudtail nodded, "OK. C'mon, Thornclaw!"

"W-Wait! I didn't tell you ho-" But before Bramblestar could finish, Cloudtail was gone.

"AUGH! Why was this day so frigging stressful!?" He thought.

"OK, Thornclaw, hold the camera."

"Alright. Oops... I think I accidentally starte-"

"HEEEYYYY ALL YOU OLD F**KS OUT THERE! YEAH, YOU, SANDSTORM AND GRAYSTRI-"

"Er... Cloudtail...?"

"WHAT?!" Cloudtail snapped.

"I accidentally had it on selfie mode..."

"And, so...?"

"We're live... I can't stop..."

"Oh my StarClan, just turn it around."

10 Seconds later...

"NO, AIM IT MORE TO THE RIGHT!" Millie yowled.

"NO, MY LEFT... Oh nevermind, I mixed it up again XD!"

"Screw selfie mode." Hollyleaf rolled her eyes.

Jayfeather glared at her. "How dare you?"

"Oh, what do you know about selfies?! You're blind!"

"Well at least now I have better senses than Dovewing."

"That's not true!" Dovewing snapped. "I can see!"

"But I hear better."

"COME AT ME, YOU BLIND FU-"

But Jayfeather was already clawing her...

And she lost. You suck Dovewing, defeated by a blind cat.

And blind people, don't comment "I'm offended coz I'm blind!"

"Have you ever wanted to be a lazy skrub and never have to go through the mind blowingly tough process of speaking?"

"Yeah!" Lilyheart screeched.

"Well now you can all chat with, LIONBLAZE CHAT NETWORK, FOR THE cPHONE!"

"But I have a Catsum!" Longtail complained.

"Oh, go back to StarClan!" Lionblaze retorted.

"Ok." Longtail said. "At least I can actually see there!"

"Excuse you?!" Jayfeather snapped.

"Seeing is fun. You don't have to watch with your ears... So much work."

Jayfeather growled. "Grr..." He growled, because... Well, that's what you say when you growl.

"Go die."

"But I'm already dead, and the Dank- I MEAN Dark Forest is dead, so... No thanks."

"F**k you and your witty insults!"

"Who says the Dark Forest is dead?" Hawkfrost chats.

"OHHOHOHHOHOHOHOHHOH!" Lilyheart raised her paw.

"WHAT?!" Hawkfrost chatted.

"How do you chat with sound."

"NUUU, YOU FOUND OUT MAH SECREETYTSSTSTSTSTSTZZYZ"

"No* My* Secrets*" Tigerstar chatly corrected.

"Actually, Skrubface, chatly isn't a wo-"

Shut up Tiggerstar!

"Did you just call me TigGerstar?"

 **Yeah, and now I'm ending the chapter because of you. Have a nice... Night...? Morning...? Idk I'm posting this at 1 A.M. Chappie 2 is coming so-**

 **"Chapter-*"**

 **SHUSH UP TIGERSTAR!**

 **"Shut*"**

 **"..."**

 **"STAHHP SILENCING!" Lilyheart screamed.**

 **Oh my StarClan, a chaosy end-**

 **"CHAOSY ISNT A WO-"**


	2. Chapter 2

**Alrighty, a new chapter!**

"Hey, mommy, look!" Fufkit said to his mother, Frosttail.

"It's Dorapaw the Exploiter!"

"Hello, kits! Today we are learning about swear words!"

"Ohh! Very educational."

"See there's [BLEEP], and [BLEEP]..."

The kits watched and repeated.

"[BLEEP], what a funny word!" Suskit said."

"IKR." Soskit said.

"Hey momma, why are we named after YouTube Poop words?"

"Because I'm a terrible hypocrite who's paranoid at YouTube?"

"ohh! That's explains it. Thanks, mom!" Lilyheart said.

"WHA-?!" Frosttail gasped. "You're not my kit! Get out!"

Lilyheart's ears drooped. "Ok..."

Meanwhile in the studio...

"Aight, take 2!"

"Hey, you old f**ks out there! Yeah, you, Graystripe and S-"

"DID YOU JUST SAY, 'JAY, YOU OLD F**KS OUT THERE?! I WILL KILL YOU!" Jayfeather screeched.

"No, wai-" But before Cloudtail could finish, Jayfeather jumped at him, and all the cats in the studio went into all out war...

Meanwhile in Lionblaze's Chatroom...

Rose9393: Hi guys!

Lionhot: Oh thank StarClan, I was waiting all day...

Rose9393: So nobody else is here?

Lionhot: No...

Jayisnotanoldf***youworthlessCloudtail has joined the room.

Lionhot: What's up with your username, Jayfeather?

Jayisnotanoldf***youworthlessCloudtail: Cloudtail called me old! Will you come suck my d- er... I mean, thumb?

Lionhot: AUGH... Fine...

Lionhot left the room

Jayisnotanoldf***youworthlessCloudtail left the room.

Rose9393: Hello?! Anyone?

Rose9393 left the room.

Tawnypelt was visiting ThunderClan camp, when she heard a loud thing...

something...

a weird sound...

"EHHHHH TAWNYBABE!" Cooldude came up to Tawnypelt.

"COME LISTEN TO THIS EPIC DUBSTEEEPPPPPPahh...!"

"Er... No thanks, Cooldude..."

"CMON TAWNYBABE YOU KNOW YOU WANT TO!"

"No I don't..."

"d**nit! Even flirts don't work..."

"I'm outta here."

In the ThunderClan camp...

Bramblestar was going insane.

He said in an insane voice, "We cannot let the other Clan steal our PRECIOUSESS..."

"Uh-oh, Bramblestar is paranoid again."

"Yeah, it was bad enough when he thought Squirrelflight was a baby..."

"... Lilyheart, that's not paranoia-"

"SHUT UP DUMMOFACES!" Bramblestar screeched. "Now, let's send 21 patrols, including our kits. And yes, I'm obsessed with vine."

 **Oh noes! Bramblestar is paronoid and likes vine, an all out war is going on in the studio! Will ThunderClan survive?!**


	3. Gimme dose secretz

**Aight Aight Aight Chappie 3! Haha, Tigerstar is DYING right now.**

 **Disclaimer: I DO NOT OWN WARRIORS OR ANYTHING IM EVEN REFERENCING TO IN THIS, I ONLY OWN MY OC'S.**

"Bramblestar! Bramblestar!" Lilyheart ran up to him, wailing. "ITS AN EMERGENCY!"

"WHAT IS IT?!" He panicked.

"My boyfriend texted me only two hearts instead of three!"

Bramblestar almost went insane...

"WHAT?! WHAT CAT COULD DO THIS?!"

"Firestar..."

Bramblestar silenced for a second. "..."

"Stop silencing, Bramblestar! It's annoying." Lilyheart screeched.

"Er... Isn't Firestar dead?"

"Yeah, but he's been texting me..."

Then, Firestar came down from StarClan.

"Whoops, I thought I was texting Sandstorm the whole time. She must've given me your number.

Then, Firestar AND Bramblestar silenced.

Lilyheart almost blew up...

JK, cats can't blow up.

"NFJDOEOWOKEJEJSTOPEKEKKEIFISILENCINGKSOEOR!" She raged.

"..."

"..."

"..."

This time, they all silenced.

Hypocritical Lilyheart.

"Hey, Firestar?" Bramblestar asked.

"Yes?"

"Are the other Clans stealing our TVs?"

"Uh... What do you expect from ShadowClan? The Twolegplace is in their territor-"

"I KNEW IT! Thanks Firestar!"

"N-n-no wait-wait-wa- AUGH."

"All cats of ThunderClan, let's attack ShadowClan! I don't really care who, just come on!"

"OHOHOHOHOH MEMEMEMEMEMMEEMMEE!" Lilyheart screamed.

"WHAT?!" Bramblestar snapped.

"Do you still like vine?"

"Yes. (Coldy) I love it. I crave for it. I need it..."

But before he could finish, Lilyheart said, "Ok, thank you!" She smiled.

Meanwhile in the studio...

"IM NOT OLD!" Jayfeather screeched.

"I never said you were, are you deaf too!?"

"No, I just have this uncommon and life-mutilating mental disease where I think people say what they don't. That's why I'm a grumpy skrub all the time."

"Oh..."

"DID YOU JUST SAY 'JAYFEATHER, YOU OLD DUMB FACE I WILL KILL YOU!?' I WILL KILL YOU!"

"WAIT I DIDN'T-"

Then, ALL all out war came.

Jayfeather, get some hearing aids, for poops sake.

Meanwhile in the Chatroom...

Lionhot: Well, since nobody's here, I might as well play with my junk.

Strivycool: IM RIGHT HERE!

Lionhot: This is fun.

Strivycool: OMS STAHPPPPPIT

Lionhot: Ohh I just love playing with my balls!

Strivycool: Lionblaze, I am heading over towards your direction RIGHT now!

Lionhot: What? I'm playing with these balls I bought at the Dollar 50 Cents store!

Strivycool: Oh thank StarClan, I thought you were... You know... So I'll go XD

Strivycool left the room.

Lionhot: Well, since nobody's here, I might as well ma-

[Bleep]

"HALP! ITS AN EMERGENCY!" Lilyheart screeched at the head of the patrol.

"WHAT?!" Bramblestar screamed.

"It's DonaldTrumpstar! He's the leader of ShadowClan!"

"NOO!"

"THE CLANS ARE COMING TO AN END!"

"RUN AWAY!"

"DONT FIGHT!"

And then nobody fought.

To be honest, I'm surprised! Lilyheart just saved 2 Clans!

"Teehee... Best prank ever!" Lilyheart snickered to herself.

"Wha-? HOW COULD YOU?!" Bramblestar screeched. Lilyheart gasped. "How did you find out?!"

"What? I was talking to Snowpaw. He's been a bad boy..." Bramblestar explained. "And find out what?"

"Er... Nothing, Bramblestar!"

"Ok!"

...

"Hello! And welcome to...

Meowpardy!" Skrubface said.

"Today's contestants are: Firestar, Dovewing, and Ivypool!

Ok, Firestar, you first!"

"Er... ThunderClan history for 5000!"

"Alright!"

The question said: Who was the flame-colored cat who saved the Clan twice?

Firestar looked confused...

(just imagine the jeopardy song comes on.)

"..." Firestar silenced.

Lilyheart glared at him.

In fact, everyone was, showing him signs that read "YOU!" and "Firestar!"

But Firestar still looked confused...

"Er... Hawkfrost?"

Everyone stared at Firestar.

"Err... You were close... Firestar! Heheh... But the answer was... You!" Skrubface said awkardly

"WHAT?! HOW?!" Firestar screamed.

"Uh... It's Dovewing's turn now! Heheh..."

"I'll take ThunderClan's History for 4000."

"Alright."

The question was: Who was the third cat of the prophecy, the one who could see and hear farther than others?

"Uh... Dang, this is tough..."

"..." Everyone silenced, except for Lilyheart, who screamed.

"Was it Hawkfrost?"

"WHY DOES EVERYONE THINK HAWKFROST IS SO P- Er... Close... But... The answer was you!"

"WHAT?! REALLY?! No way, stop lying to me, Skrubface."

"You cats are so stupid! Does StarClan and losing your senses...

You know what? It's Ivypool's turn."

"ThunderClan history for 3000?"

The question read: who was the cat who helped the Clans by spying on the Dark Forest?

"Er... Hawkfro-"

"HAWKFROST WASNT EVEN THUNDERCLAN, YES HE HAD THUNDERCLAN BLOOD, BUT HE WASNT THUNDERCLAN! HOLY STARCLAN!" Skrubface raged.

"..." Everyone except for Lilyheart silenced, even thought she was quiet... Hey, there's a difference.

"So did I get it corre-"

"NO YOU DIDNT GET IT CORRECT! YOU KNOW WHAT?!" He chucked his microphone (thought he didn't go too far, because it was from his mouth.) "IM OUT!"

"What's up with him?" Firestar asked.

"I don't know." Ivypool scoffed. "All we did was say the most stressful and stupid thing possible unintendely, which would stress out pretty much every game show host in existence."

"Yeah! He's got some problems!" Dovewing said.

 **Well, now we know that Skrubface has anger issues, Jayfeather has this mind-blowingly life-mutilating terrible mental disease, and that Firestar likes young cats! Also, I've realized how many typos I've made in the last 2 chapters, and the only thing I will say is: I'm a fast typer. Anyways, enjoy!**


	4. Lilyheart is forgetful

**Alright, new chapter, hurling your way like Lilyheart's unsheathed claws when you silence!**

"Well, Jayfeather, if you _do_ have that disease, when you think some ca-"  
"Did you just say 'I'm sorry, Jayfeather, lets make up!?' Thank you!" Jayfeather interrupted cheerfully  
"Oh thank StarCla-"  
"DID YOU JUST SAY 'JK YOU SKRUB!?' HOW DARE YOU!?"  
" _Excuse_ you?" Skrubface snapped. "Try me."  
"Yeah, Skrubface, we already knew you were retarded, don't ' _skrub_ ' it in!"  
"Alright, first: Nice skrub pun. And second: I didn't say that."  
"First: Thank you. Second: DID YOU JUST FREAKING SAY I'M A RETARD TOO!? I WILL KILL YOU!"  
Then, the studio turned into ALL ALL all out war!

"BRAMBLESTAR, HALP ME!" Lilyheart screeched.  
"What, Lilyheart!?" My boyfriend broke up with me!  
Bramblestar sighed. "Lilyheart, we've been through this, Firestar had the WRONG number! This is the 57th time I have to tell you this!"  
"Er... 58th" Lilyheart corrected.  
Bramblestar rolled his eyes. "Whatever, smarty-poop."

10 Seconds Later...

"BRAMBLESTAR, HALP ME!" Lilyheart screeched.

"What, Lilyheart!?"  
"My boyfriend broke up with me!"  
"OH MY STARCLAN, LILYHEART."  
"What?"  
"This is the 59th time I've had to tell you this."  
"58th."  
"But you said that the last time you told me this!"  
"No I didn't!" Then she looked at Amberpaw, "Did I?"  
Amberpaw nodded.  
"Oh..."

"Hello, cats everywhere! Today we are playing: Spelling Test: Kits edition! Our first kit is: Sassafraskit! How do you spell: Cat"  
"Uh... Uh.. J-K-D-F-G-H-B-A-M-C-W?" Sassafraskit stammered.  
"Close, but it is actually C-A-T."  
"EXCUSE YOU!? ILL HAVE TO INFORM YOU MY MOMMY IS RICH AND MY DADDY IS THE COOLEST CAT IN THE FOREST, COOLDUDE! SO YOU CAN'T MAKE S**T WRONG FOR ME!" Sassafraskit Sassafrased.  
Everycat gasped, except for Richmuns and Cooldude.  
"DID YOU TEACH HER THIS!?" The cats said.  
"Uh... Yes!"  
"SICKOS!" All the cats screamed over Sassafraskit rapping a very explicit rap song.  
"CALM DOWN EVERYONE! Next kit: Immortalkit. Your word is, "Hi."  
"U-uh... Is it? Uh, is it? Uh?" All the cats wooed at the cute kit stammering.  
"Is it, F-*-*-K-Y-O-U?"  
All the cats gasped, and looked at Richmuns and Cooldude again.  
"HOW DARE YOU!?" They screamed.  
"ALRIGHT, next kit: Definitelynotamarysuepaw! **(WHO I DO NOT OWN! Dusk Says Screw It** **does!)**  
Even though she's an apprentice."  
Then, Definitelynotamarysuepaw started yelling random swear words, but nobody seemed to care, because... Well... She's a Mary-Sue!

 **Alright, that's a wrap! See you guys ;D**


	5. Please don't read this chapter

**Alright, everyone! Chapter 5! Let's get right into it!** **Also, I'm now taking OC's** **, because I'll be making this story for a while!  
Thank you! Also, this chapter's a little explicit, so only go on if you're mature enough. I recommend anyone over the age of 10.**

"And now, the first ever romance movie in the history of the Clans! Rated R for Rating is safe with mature kittens."

Then it showed Jayfeather humping his stick.

"Don't we make a great couple?" Jayfeather said, his eyes gleaming.  
"No, that's disgusting." Hollyleaf said.  
"Well how would you feel if you were in love with... an inanima...-" He slowed down as the next scene showed Hollyleaf humping  
a TV Remote."  
"Er... Nevermind..."  
"Yeah, I'm out." Everyone said.

"Finally some alone time!" Hollyleaf took out her remote, and purred.

But she didn't know Dovewing wanted remote too.

"Hello Hollyleaf." Dovewing said.

"AHH! GET AWAY FROM ME AND SENPAI!"

"NO! REMOTE IS MY SENPAI! LOOK ON TV!"

Hollyleaf looked towards the TV...

And there was a scene with DOVEWING humping remote.  
"NO! REMOTE, YOU'RE CHEATING ON ME?!"  
"Heheh... Now c'mon, remotey Senpai!"  
"NUUUUUUUUUU!" Hollyleaf wailed. "why..."

Skrubface was walking through StarClan. The young kit was feeling happy. Like...  
 _Is this what it feels like not to be Skrubby?_  
Now, it wasn't, it's just that he felt good about getting to the "tough-to-get-to" level 2 in his game.  
"Darnit, narrator! I was feeling good about myself!"  
So? I can say what I want to. Now scram, before I claw your ears out.

 **I know it was a pretty short chapter, but I just got an amazing idea for a new story! You guys will see it soon :D**


	6. Lilyheart is Lilyha! It's Lilypaw now!

**Many moons later of insanity... (Spoilers for people who didn't read a Vision of Shadows yet)**

Alderpaw was playing on his cPhone. Then he saw something unusual...  
Or maybe it was usual, because Lilyheart's kits came from Lilyheart...  
"HEYY, HONEYKITT! CAN I PLSSS SSSSSS Silence!?" Larkkit screamed.  
"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Lilyheart, Leafkit, and Honeykit screeched.  
"..." Snowbush and Larkkit silenced.  
"NO!klwewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewewew! You silenced! WHATS UP WITH TOMS?!"  
Snowbush and Larkkit snickered.  
 _Wow, even Snowbush is a retard._ Alderpaw thought. _Was Sorreltail this retarded?_

 **FLASHBACK**

"PLEASE STOP SILENCING, BRACKENFUR!" Sorreltail screamed.

 **FLASHBACK END**

"DUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE, check this out!" Cooldude said to Tawnypelt.

Tawnypelt groaned. "Hi, Cooldude."

"Will you marry me?" Cooldude pulled out a box and revealed a cPhone6s+  
Tawnypelt's eyes glittered.  
"OHhhhhhh! But I'm married. I'll take the cPhone though, thanks!"  
Then Cooldude cried...  
Hmm... Who saw that coming?

Sparkpaw was doing as epic as crap, as usual, and catching 69 mice per second...

In her new game.

"Huuuuuuuuuu!" She screamed as she won level one.  
"Huuuu!"  
"HU"  
"HU"  
"HU"

"Sparkpaw, will you shut up?" Some cat said.  
"What do you mean? You don't even sleep in the same den as me! Nobody does!" Sparkpaw retorted. "Wait a minute..."  
She uncovered a shade thingy, as there was... Lilyheart?  
"OHHH GOD PLEASE NO! DONT SAY YOU'RE ON APPRENTICE DUTIES FOR NOW!"  
"Yes, I am!"  
"But what about the kits!?"  
"Hi!" Honeykit, Larkkit, Leafkit... and even Snowbush and Dewnose said.  
"Alright, why is your whole family in here, Lilyheart?" She looked around. "Except for Brackenfu-"  
"Hi!" Brackenfur said.  
"No-no, Sparkpaw, our new names are Lilypaw, Honeypaw, Larkpaw, Leafpaw, Snowpaw, Dewpaw, and Brackenpaw!"  
"Don't forget me!" Whitewing said. "I'm Dewpaw and Snowpaw's half-sister."  
"You guys are retards." Ambermoon said, don't forget me!"  
"OHHHHHH YEAH! Amberpaw and Whitepaw."  
Sparkpaw and literally the whole of Lilyheart's... or _Lilypaw's_ kin.  
"Hey, I was Lilypaw's foster mother!" Brightheart said.  
"Ok, Brightp-"  
"Hey, I'm Lilypaw's half sister!" Poppyfrost said.  
"Okay, Poopypaw."  
Poppypaw stared at the narrator.  
"Did you just make a typo where my name was Poopypaw!?"  
SORRY! Don't expect me to change it.  
Poppypaw groaned. "Fine."  
So, Sparkpaw was pretty freaked out, and died of not sleeping.  
JK, she just pretended she was sick and slept next to Alderpaw in the Medicine Den.

"Weeeeeeeeelcome to the new game show: Hangcat! You all know how to play! Sooooooooooooooooooooo lets go!" Jayfeather said enthusiastically.  
"Wait a minute, I just said that enthusiastically. I better fix this before some cat notices..." Jayfeather mumbled. "Er... I mean... F**k you all! Uh... let's start the show! Today's (cruddy) contestants are: Alderpaw, Sparkpaw... and... oh StarClan... Lily...paw..."  
"NUUUUUUUUUU! NO! DONT DO THIS!" Sparkpaw screamed, going insane."  
"Too bad, now! This is the amount of letters: - - -. Uh... do you think you have it Lilypaw?"  
"I think it's 'Lilyheart is now Lilypaw and if you get it wrong your dumb!'" Lilyheart said "dumb" like it was "dum"  
"Er... close, Lilypaw! But wrong. Er... yes, Alderpaw?"  
"How many letters are there?"  
"Actually, I'm not sure, I'm blind, but I think the answer is 'F**k you a-' Wait a minute..."  
Sparkpaw raised her paw. "Yes! I think it's 'Love You All!'"  
Skrubface, the assistant host said, "Screw this." Threw his microphone, and sat in a ditch wondering how his... afterlife? got so bad.  
"Er... No, the answer was 'F**k you all!' Heheh..."  
"WHAT?!" The three cats screeched. "How were we supposed to get that?!"  
"BECAUSE I TOLD YOU!"  
"Ohhhhhhhhhhh yeah! Remember that time? So long ago, a whole 3 minutes 55 seconds! Good times!" Lilypaw said.  
Jayfeather screamed and ran out of the room.  
"Wow, he has anger issues too!" The cats in the audience murmured.

 **Things are getting out of control! Literally all of Lilyheart's-  
"LILY _PAW_ 'S!" Lilypaw corrected.  
Er... Lily _paw_ 's kin all became apprentices, some too young and some again, and Sparkpaw went insane, and now we know that Jayfeather has anger issues along with a life mutilating mental disease...  
Can some cat save things before they get even more insane?**


	7. Dawnleaf of Poke E Mon

**Alrighty, got my first OC for this story! Her name is Dawnleaf, and her creator is InfiniteDawn429. Thank you! :D  
Dawnleaf is a Silver and white tabby with amber eyes.**

 **I DO NOT OWN POKEMON, the MLG Sad Song, OR WARRIORS!**

Cinderheart was bragging to her sister, Honeyfern. "Eyyyyyy guess what?! I used to be Cinderpelt!"  
"Stahp lying, I saw you when Cinderpelt was giving birth to u-"  
"NOBODY EVER ACCEPTS MEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!" Cinderheart cried.  
"Whoa, calm d-"  
"SHUUUUUUUUT UUUUUUUUUUUUP! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" Cinderheart kept on crying. "Blazey! Blazey! MY SISTER IS BULLYING ME!"  
"U WOT?!" Lionblaze said, getting angrier. "POOPYF-"

 **(A.N: At this point I realized Cinderheart and Poppyfrost are apprentices. So I'm gonna skip the drama.)**

Dawnleaf was walking through her twolegs house.  
Then a robber came in!  
Robber wants to battle!  
"Firepoop, GO!" Robber says.  
"Dawnleaf, GO!"  
Robber stares at Dawnleaf.  
"Hey, I'm the only Pokemon I have."  
"Alright. Firepoop, use fart!"  
ITS SUPER EFFECTIVE.

K.O!

"HAHA!"  
Robber has captured Dawnleaf!  
Robber gets bored and mails Dawnleaf to a random address.

Back in camp...

BRAMBLESTAR! WE HAVE MAIL!" Squirrelflight screeched.

The whole can peeked out.

"But we never have mail!" (MLG Sad Song comes on.) Bramblestar exclaimed.  
"Well, do you expect ShadowClan or WindClan to mail us anything but bullying letters?" Jayfeather grumped.  
"OH GOD!" Bramblestar screeched. "GUYS, JUST IN CASE, SOME OF YOU GO ATTACK SHADOWCLAN AND THE OTHER ONES GO ATTACK WINDCLn~"  
Half of ThunderClan left to attack.  
"Oh wait, it's moving... IT'S A TIME BOMB FROM RIVERCLAN! ATTACK THEM!"  
Another few cats went to attack RiverClan.  
"Oh, wait, it's just a cat."  
Bramblestar opened the mailbox and took out a shotgun.  
"WHO ARE YOU!?" He demanded.  
"I-I'm Dawnleaf of SkyClan! I ran away coz SkyClan are skrubs! Then I got kidnapped and mailed to you."  
"Oh, s**t. I just sent my cats out to battle for nothing."  
"Wait, you're ThunderClan! AMAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAZING!" Dawnleaf yelled. "Let me join you!"  
"Ehhhhhh no."  
Dawnleaf took out a shotgun. "EXCUSE ME!?"  
"Er... yeah! Of course!" They both put down their shotguns. "So, what a coincidence you ended up here, right?"  
"Yeah!" Dawnpelt said.

Meanwhile the next day.

"HELLO! AND WELCOME TO 'WIN A DATE WITH SQUIRRELFLIGHT!" Squirrelflight yelled.  
Then she realized only Bramblestar and Ashfur were there...  
"Err... In order to win, you must battle to the death!"  
Ashfur ended up killing Bramblestar.  
"YEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA..."  
But while Ashfur was cheering, Bramblestar woke back up and killed Ashfur. You should check out the Wiki and see for yourself, it DEFINITELY won't be a waste of time.

 **Oh God help me, I'm running out of ideas. XD. But really help me.**


	8. Everyone's a cheater! You all get an F!

_**Hello! Right now I'm pretty much just going to write some really stupid stuff, so brace your self!**_

"WELCOME TO YOUR FIRST DAY AT THE WARRIORS SCHOOL!" Bramblestar said to his students. "Today you will all learn math. So, our first question: What's 9+10?"

Cloudtail raised his paw. "19?" He asked.

Bramblestar looked furious. "HOW DID YOU JUST GET THAT WRONG?!" He screeched.

"Yeah!" Skrubface said. "It's obviously 21!"

Cloudtail face-pawed and said, "You stupid."

"No I'n not." Skrubface retorted.

"STOP COPYING THAT DANK MEME!" Bramblestar screeched.

"NEVER!" Skrubface and Cloudtail yowled.

Then the school turned into an all out war zone. Deja Vu, anyone?

Meanwhile, the rest of ThunderClan was having a party! The bartender, named Bartender, was serving Catmint, which even the kits were eating.

Lights were flashwasing, everyone was getting high.

And Squirrelflight was having more fun than eve

She was literally doing nothing but eating catmint in the catmint eating contest... Against herself...

"GOO SQUIRRELFLIGHT!"

"NO! SQUIRRELFLIGHT SHOULD WIN!"

Some cats were even drunkily attacking each other deciding who'd win.

"AND THE WINNER. IS, SQUIRRELFLIGHT!"

"NUUUUUUU!"

"YEAAAHHAHAHAHAHHAH!"

But then everyone blacked out.

"Oh..." Squirrelflight moaned.

The party was long over, and everything was trashed.

"Jayfeather, did we get high off of catmint ag... Wait, Jayfeather, did you just f-"

"No!" Jayfeather said quickly, then he purred and said. "It was with stick."

"Oh God, Leafpool really was a sl-"

"WHAT?!" Leafpool screeched.

"Er... Nothing, sweet and kind sister!"

"Ew! DAWNLEAF?!" Berrynose said.

Poppyfrost screamed. "DID YOU JUST CHEAT ON ME!?"I was high! Plus, I saw you with Lionbla-"

"BLAZEY!?" Cinderheart cried.

"No! I was going to say Lionblaze's brother."

"Jayfeather." Jayfeather grumpied.

"Did we all cheat on our mates?" Snowbu- Er... SnowPAW, said.

"..." Everyone silenced.

"CEISIDIDODOROOWKWJEKFLDKS!" Lilypaw yowled.

"Oh gosh, we're sickos!"

"GUYS! WINDCLAN ROBBED US!" Pranksterkit yelled.

"ATTACK THEM!" Bramblestar ordered at once.

Then, for NOTHING, ThunderClan fought WindClan.

"Heheh! Best prank ever!" Pranksterkit snickered.

 _ **Pranksterkit, Y U DO DIS?! Whyyyy?!**_

 ** _Oh, we're on! Er... Cut!_**


	9. From Spanish and Back

**Hey guys! I just did something that a lot of people were doing. I translated chapter one into Spanish, and translated it back to English, and this happened. Pretty soon I'll do Chapter 2 to/from Chinese.**

YASSSSSSSS! EZ stoor NOOO!

yes, the clans are f ** ked

"Hello, worthless pieces of trash!" Bramblestar told cats

I found this unusual thing in this den Twoleg I saw in the Twolegplace ...

There was a thing called Catizon ... And sold these things called cPhones, Catsums, Brindle water ... and TV ... "

"Oh ohh I have a question!" There was a cry of Lilyheart below. "How you can read cats?"

"Lilyheart, f *** you and that question. Now they let you deliver your cPhones. Catsums and Brindle waters are SKRUUBBZBZBZBBZ!"

Squirrelflight was at its peak. "Bramblestar, this game is impossibullcrap!"

"What game is it?" Bramblestar softly said to his companion.

"The Very easy 4-piece puzzle game for kits ..."

"..." Bramblestar silenced ...

Lilyheart lifted his leg. "OHH OHH MEMEMEMEMEMEME!"

Bramblestar groaned. "What?"

"Ha-How do You-uh ... silence Ho-how?" She stammered as a kit.

"Stop breaking the fourth wall, you know what led to the Skrubkit's-"

"Hey, Bramblestar!" Cloudtail said. "There's nothing on TV!"

"Well, Cloudtail, it is necessary that television programs."

Like he knew what that meant, Cloudtail nodded: "Okay Come on, Thornclaw."

"W-wait! I do not say HO-" But before he could finish Bramblestar, Cloudtail was not.

"Augh! Why it was this day so stressful frigging!?" He thought.

"OK, Thornclaw, hold the camera."

"Okay. Well ... I think I accidentally starte-"

"EVERYTHING OLD HEEEYYYY F ** KS out there! YES, YOU, AND SANDSTORM GRAYSTRI-"

"Er ... Cloudtail ...?"

"WHAT?!" Cloudtail broke.

"Accidentally autofoto he had in the way ..."

"And so...?"

"We are live ... I can not stop ..."

"Oh my StarClan, just turn it around."

10 seconds later ...

"NO, target more to the right!" Millie meowed.

"No, my I left ... Oh, never mind, I remixed XD!"

"Screw autofoto Mode." Hollyleaf rolled his eyes.

Jayfeather glowered. "How dare you?"

"Oh, what do you autofotos know! You're blind!"

"Well, at least now I have better senses Dovewing."

"That is not true!" Dovewing broke. "I can see!"

"But I've heard better."

"Come at me, you blind FU"

But Jayfeather was already clawing his ...

And he was lost. Dovewing stink, defeated by a blind cat.

And blind people do not comment "I'm offended coz I'm blind!"

"Have you ever wanted to be a lazy skrub and not have to go through the process of surprisingly difficult to talk?"

"If!" Lilyheart squealed.

"Well now you can chat with all LIONBLAZE chat network, FOR cPHONE!"

"But I have a Catsum!" Longtail complained.

"Oh, StarClan again!" Lionblaze replied.

"Agree." said long tail. "At least I can see really there!"

"Sorry ?!" Jayfeather broke.

"See for fun. You do not have to do with your ears ... So much work."

Jayfeather growled. "Grr ..." he growled, because ... Well, that's what he says when grunting.

"Die."

"But I'm already dead, and I mean the Dark Forest Dank- is dead, so ... No, thanks."

"F ** you and your witty insults k!"

"Who says that the Dark Forest is dead?" Hawkfrost chats.

"OHHOHOHHOHOHOHOHHOH!" Lilyheart lifted his leg.

"WHAT?!" Hawkfrost talk.

"How you can chat with sound."

"Nuuu, discovered MAH SECREETYTSSTSTSTSTSTZZYZ"

"No secrets * * * My" Tigerstar chatly corrected.

"Actually, Skrubface, chatly is not a wo-"

Tiggerstar Shut up!

"I TigGerstar you just call?"

Yes, and now I'm finishing the chapter because of you. You have a good night...? Morning...? Idk I'm putting this to 01 a.m. Chappie 2 is coming so-

"Chapter-*"

SHUSH Tigerstar UP!

"Close*"

"..."

"STAHHP SILENCING!" Lilyheart shouted.

Oh StarClan an End-chaosy

"CHAOSY also no WO"


	10. Me no engless

**This is MUCH more screwed up than last chapter lol. Enjoy!**

Alrighty, a new chapter!

"Hey, Mom, look!" Fufkit his mother, Frosttail said.

"This is Dorapaw pioneer!"

"Hello, pack! Today we learned about the curse words!"

"Oh! Very educational."

"I see [bleep] and [beep] ..."

The suite and watch repeatedly.

"[Beep] What a funny word!" Suskit said. "

"IKR". Soskit said.

"Hey Mom, why after our YouTube, stern words name?"

"Because I am a terrible hypocrite who is YouTube's paranoid?"

"Oh! That's explain it. Thank you, Mom!" Lilyheart said.

"What?!" Frosttail gasped. "You're not my bag! Get out!"

Lilyheart ears droop. "it is good..."

At the same time in the studio ...

"Aight, take 2!"

"Hey, you old f*ck (nice try, Google Translate) KS there! Yes, ah, you, Graystripe and S-"

"You just say, 'God, you old f ** KS in there?! I'll kill you!" Jayfeather screaming.

"No, wai-" but before Cloudtail can be done, Jayfeather he jumped down into the studio all cats all wars ...

OMeanwhile, Lionblaze chat room ...

Rose9393: Hi, Hello, everyone!

Lionhot: Oh thank StarClan, I waited all day ...

Rose9393: So no one here?

Lionhot: not ...

Jayisnotanoldf *** youworthlessCloudtail has joined the room.

Lionhot: What is your user name, Jayfeather?

Jayisnotanoldf *** youworthlessCloudtail: Cloudtail call me old! You will come to suck my D- uh ... I mean, the thumb?

Lionhot: AUGH ... good ...

Lionhot leave the room

Jayisnotanoldf *** youworthlessCloudtail left the room.

Rose9393: Hello? anyone?

Rose9393 leave the room.

Tawnypelt family visited the mine camp, when she heard a loud thing ...

thing...

A strange sound ...

"EHHHHH TAWNYBABE!" Cooldude went Tawnypelt.

"Listen to this EPIC DUBSTEEEPPPPPPahh ...!"

"Uh ... No, thank you, Cooldude ..."

"CMON TAWNYBABE you know you want to!"

"no, I do not..."

"D ** nit! Even flirting does not work ..."

"I'm going out."

Ray family camp ...

Bramblestar going crazy.

His crazy voice said, "We can not let the other clans steal our PRECIOUSESS ..."

"Ah, oh, Bramblestar is paranoid."

"Ah, this is bad enough when he was a baby Squirrelflight think."

"... Lilyheart, this is not paranoia-"

"Shut up DUMMOFACES!" Bramblestar screaming. "Now, let's send 21 patrols, including our suite. Yes, I'm obsessed with vine."

bad! Bramblestar is paronoid, like vines, all-out war in the studio how it is! The Ray family survive?


	11. Mer ofrioper vjklfe?

**Oh my goodness, I just made chapter three go through Czech, Luxembourgian, and Danish. Prepare your eyes.**

Aight aight aight Chappie 3! Haha, Star Tiger is dying right now.

Disclaimer: I do not or Warriors all IM also help references, I have one's own past.

"Bramblestar! Bramblestar!" Lily ran his heart, sirens. "His state of emergency!"

"What is it?" He engaged.

"My friend wrote me just two hearts instead of three!"

Bramblestar is almost crazy ...

"What? What CAT fire?"

"Four star ..."

Bramblestar on the second level. "..."

"Stop the silence, Bramblestar! It's annoying." Heart Lily screamed.

"He ... Four Star not dead?"

"Yes, but he would not texting ..."

So off Four star differs from star clan down.

"Oops, I thought I broke all the time, literally. They gave me had given your number.

After Firestar And Bramblestar silence.

Lily's heart almost exploded ...

JK, cats do not blow up.

"NFJDOEOWOKEJEJSTOPEKEKKEIFISILENCINGKSOEOR!" They raged.

"..."

"..."

"..."

This time they are all silenced.

Lily Heart hypocritical.

"Hey, fire star?" he asked Bramblestar.

"Yes?"

"There are other clans steal our TV?"

"Hm ... What are your expectations for the shadow clan? Twolegplace her territor-"

"I knew it! With Fire Star!"

"N-n-no-wait-wait stimulate augh."

"All cats thunder clan Clan LET'S Shadow Attack! I really do not care what, just come!"

"Ohohohohoh MEMEMEMEMEMMEEMMEE!" Lily Heart shield.

"We?!" Bramblestar humans.

"Like fruit?"

"Yes. (COLD) I like it. I like it. I have to ..."

But before he could finish, says Lily heart, "Ok, thank you!" Nothing too ongut.

Meanwhile, in the studio ...

"I'm not old!" Jayfeather screamed.

"I never told you, did you celebrate?"

"No, I have only this extraordinary life and mutilate insanity when I think people say what they do not. That's why I scrub grumpy all the time."

"Oh ..."

"You're just sayin 'Jayfeather, Dumb'll old FACE kill you?" I will kill you! "

"Wait, I DIDN'T-"

ALL then all come from war.

Jayfeather, some hearing aids, to follow the feces.

Meanwhile, the second ...

Lionhot: Yes, because no one is here, I can also play with my junk.

Strivycool: IM here!

Lionhot: It's fun.

Strivycool: OMS STAHPPPPPIT

Lionhot: Oh, I just love to play with my balls!

Strivycool: Lionblaze now on the way to your right direction over!

Lionhot What? I play with a ball at the dollar store bought 50 cents!

Strivycool: Oh, thank Star Clan, I thought you were ... you know ... So I went

Strivycool left the room.

Lionhot: Yes, because no one is here, I could also pro-

[Bleep]

"Halpe! Its an emergency!" Heart Lily screamed at the head of the patrol.

"We?!" Bramblestar higher.

"It Donald Trump Star! He is the leader of the clan of Shadows!"

"Noo!"

"The clans come to an end!"

"FORTLAFEN!"

"Do fight!"

And then just do not.

To be honest, I was surprised! Lily Heart introduced only two clans!

"Teehee ... Best time ever!" Lily Heart chuckled to himself.

"What? How could you?" Bramblestar screamed. Lily cardiac damage. "How did you do?"

"What? I spoke with Snowpaw. It was a bad guy ..." said Bramblestar. "A what?"

"He ... No Bramblestar!"

"OK!"

...

"Hello and welcome ...

Meowpardy! "Say Scrub Face.

"Currently candidates are: Four Star, Dovewing and Ivypool!

Ok, Four Star, you first! "

"He ... Thunder Clan history for 5000!"

"OK!"

To the question: Who was the flame-colored cat who twice saved the clan?

Four Star looked confused ...

(Imagine threaten the song goes.)

"..." He silenced Fire star.

Lily heart on his work.

In fact, they all concluded with the inscription "You!" and "Four Star!"

But Firestar so still confused ...

"He ... Hawk Frost?"

Anyone who witnessed Four Star.

"Err ... you ... Four Star! Heheh ... But the answer was ... you!" Said Scrub Face awkardly

"What?! HOW?!" Firestar higher.

"Uh ... It Dovewing trip now! Heheh ..."

"I get a history of the Thunder clan 4000."

"OK".

The question is: Who the third prophecy cat is the one who could see and hear than others?

"Uh ... Dang, it's hard ..."

"..." Everyone stunned, except Lily Heart, which roared.

"He Hawk Frost?"

"Why ALL THINK HAWK FROST as P- Uh ... close ... But ... the answer you!"

"What?! In any case, really?!, Stop lying to me, scrub Face."

"The cats are so stupid! You Star Clan and loses his mind ...

You know what? It is the heart is Ivypool. "

"History Thunder Clan for 3000?"

The question read, who has a cat clans spied dark forest helped?

"He ... Hawkfro-"

"HAWK FROST wasnt even thunderclan, YES he thunderclan blood, but it was not THUNDER clan Holy STAR clan!" Scrub Face furious.

"..." All except heart drawn Lily thought it was too quiet ... Hey, there's a difference.

"So I thought it equivalent"

"No DIR's right! You know what?" He threw his microphone (not thought too much to do, because it is out of his mouth.) "IM OUT!"

"What about him?" He asked the fire star.

"I do not." Ivypool scoffed. "All we did was to say that stupidity can be stressful and unintendely would great stress shows everything in existence."

"Yes! He has a few problems! "Dovewing said.

Well, now we know that the problems began Scrub Face anger, Jayfeather this fabulously life mutilating serious mental illness, and Four Star like young cats! I also noticed how typo in the last two chapters done and the only thing I would say is: I have a quick Types. Anyway, enjoy!


	12. Catmint sucks!

**Herro! Today we are getting more into the stupidness level of the cats.**

All the cats of ThunderClan were playing on their phones, except for Jayfeather, who was purring and secretly watching My Little Pony (which I don't own or like!)

"Jayfeather!" Firestar snapped. "STOP PURRING! WHAT THE MOUSE DUNG ARE YOU WATCHING!?"

Jayfeather looked at Firestar, wide-eyed. "YOU WILL NEVER FIND OUT MY SECRETS! NEVER!" And he repeatedly hissed "Never!" as he walked away backwards into his den.

Firestar got up and followed Jayfeather into his den, and just as he peeked in, Jayfeather went into a secret passage. Firestar followed in after him, and saw Jayfeather lying on a bed in a room with My Little Pony stuff all over the place.

"I should've known." Firestar mumbled and facepawed.

•••••••••••••••••••••••••okthisistakingforever•••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••••

Dawnleaf was walking through her Clan when she saw MarySuekit walking through and she went up to Dawnleaf. "Hey!" She purred. "Can you pleasaaasnenemenenenene take this quiz!?"

"AHHH! You're so cute!" She coed. "Ok!"

The first question was-

"AHH!" Dawnleaf screamed as a monster came on the screen. "Normally, I'd KILL you! But... You're just so cute!"

Normally, I would've too for interrupting my story but... Ahh! She's soo cute! :D

•••youknowwhat?imnotevengoingtodoitittakes5005043939yearsalright?!Ohw888

"Oh StarClan hepp0p9.. ¥¥!" Cinderheart screamed.

Bramblestar face-pawed. "She's hyper again, isn't she?"

"NOO! 88:/7/$juuimmmsjucfj!

"Oh no, she's high off of catnip! GET JAYFEATHER!"

"JAYFEATHER!" Leafpool screamed, only to come running back. "He's high too."

"THEN YOU DO IT! YOU'RE THE FIRST MEDICINE CAT!"

"No! I'm to lazy!" Leafpool cried.

"THEN GET ALDERPAW!"

"No, he's high... And doing something you really don't want to know..."

"Then screw it, let's all get high! Then nobody will be high!"

later...

"Oh... Did we _really_ get high again?" Bramblestar moaned, and he turned around.

"OH SWEET STARCLAN! BRIARLIGHT!?"

Then he saw Squirrelflight and Jayfeather next to each other.

"Squirrelfight?! What's up with you and Jayfeather-"

"I told you! It was with Stick!" Jayfeather said, and then purred.

"Bramblestar, with... Briarlight?! She's freaking ugly!"

"No! It was with remote." Briarlight purred.

"WHAT?!" Dovewing and Hollyleaf screamed, and the three she-cats attacked each other.

"GUYS! I LOVE MY LITTLE PONY! I NEEDND DITIITTIIT!" Jayfeather screamed.

"Did you just eat more catmint!?" Leafpool screamed.

"KSKSMSMMSMSMSMSMSMSSMSMSMSMSMSM"! Alderpaw screamed.

"Oh no..."

"I NNENED IT LOLLIESSX""""!"!""!"!"!"!"!"!"! Everyone started screaming, as insanely loud music came on, as ThunderClan plunged into insanity again.

"I need remote!" Briarlight screamed.

"Noo9o999!n!" Hollyleaf and Dovewing yelled.

"I love my balls!" Lionblaze said, playing with the balls he bought.

"Remote!"Jayfeather screamed, then dived onto Stick.

"Did you just say Remote!?" The three insane Remotesexuals snapped.

"No! Er... I YELLED MY LITTLE PONY!"

"Guys, look! Brightheart is stripping!" Berrynose yelled.

"Yeahh!" The cats gave Brightheart money as she bought Strip Shoes, instead of tie, from Bramblestar.

In ShadowClan.

"Er... Rowanstar, I think ThunderClan is high aga-" Tawnypelt stopped as she turned around to see Rowanstar high. "C'mon! They might not be! I just thought so because Brightheart is stripping!"

Rowanstar screamed and headed for ThunderClan.

"Wait! I meant she's buying stripped shoes! Not tie!" She looked down at her 4 tie shoes and drooled.

Later...

"Oh... Did we get high again? Dangit! I missed Brightheart stripping! Eh... She's ugly anyways..."

"You didn't miss crap, Bramblestar." Cloudtail said, and rolled his eyes. "All she did was buy stripped shoes... She doesn't know how to tie without that eye! Great StarClan-"

"OH STARCLAN! I DIDNT MISS IT!" Bramblestar screamed over Cloudtail trying to scream over him. "She's right next to me! I'm such a sicko!" Then, the whole Clan went into talking over each other.

"Stop!" Rowanstar yelled. "You guys need to stop getting high!"

"What's it to you?" The cats snapped.

Then Mistystar came and walked in. "Even we heard it!"

"So?"

"Well, we'll all drive you out if you don't stop." Onestar appeared and said.

"Fine!" Bramblestar said.

"Good."

 **Oh no! Will ThunderClan actually lose their rights to get high on catmint?! Is Jayfeather actually a brony?! Will ThunderClan lose control and be driven out?! Find out... Laterrrrr!**


	13. Hotel of Heck (lol) Part 1

**Hello! Big** **shoutout to Infinitedawn429! Please see their (if you're seeing this, InfiniteDawn, tell me your gender XD) new story! It's amazing, and I advise you to read it before Shrek the Ogre (who I don't own) comes into your room and eats you! WATCH OUT!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Warriors or the invention of Hotels.**

 **Quick note: Skrubface represents me, THE AUTHOR (in an epically dramatic voice. REMEMBER THAT!)**

Bramblestar called the Clan from the Highledge. Once he finished, he said. "Alright, ugly cats! Today we are doing a challenge! It's called the "Sneak Into the Hotel or Else You Will Die" challenge! I know, the names too short but I have big handwriting! Anyways, this is in dedication of Skrubface sneaking his dog into a hotel." He stared hard at Skrubface. "Who bragged about it for moons! Or maybe an hour because he's in the car as he's writing this... He's still on his way back... And it glared at him over FaceTime... STOP MAKING WRITING MISTAKES! StarClan..."

"Alright, Lionblaze, Graystripe, Alderpaw, Dawnleaf," Bramblestar then looked up. "FIRESTAR AND SANDSTORM! Sparkpaw, Lilyheart (she finally got over that "paw" thing) Uglykit," Bramblestar looked up and in a different direction, "SKRUBFACE, and Cloudtail."

Firestar, Sandstorm, and Skrubface (who came in more to the northwest) came down from StarClan.

"Alright, you all will be teleported to the AREN- Er... HOTEL!"

"I might make a seperate story about this!" Skrubface snickered.

"SHUT IT, SKRUBFACE." Squirrelflight snapped.

"1. Caps. 2. I can ruin your life. I'm THE AUTHOR of this story."

"Really? Then do it." She sneered, acting like her old apprenticey self.

"Alright."

Squirrelflight then grew wings and the world became epileptic, and we all know that Squirrelflight is prone to that.

"UUAUUAUAUAUAYAHHFHJFFJFJFJJFFJFJJF!" Squirrelflight had a seizure.

Then it all stopped, and Squirreflight fell and lied down on the ground.

"Say it." Skrubface smurked.

"Augh... I... Underestimated your power..." Squirrelfight choked out.

"I thought so."

"Alright, uglies!" Bramblestar screamed. "LETS Goooooooooooo!" He said in a babyish voice and spun around in a tutu and crown, looking all cute.

"What?! Skrubface! STARCLAN DA-" (beep.)

"Sorry." Skrubface chuckled.

So then the chosen cats got teleported to the Hotel.

"AUGH... Twoleg stench?! I didn't think we'd be screwing with Twolegs!" Dawnleaf grumpied.

"Shut up, Dawnleaf." Skrubface growled. "Stop being like Jayfeather."

"Mommy, look, kitties!" I voice said.

"AHH!" The cats screamed. "Wait a minute." Firestar said, and spun around, glaring at Sandstorm. "Why didn't you scream?" He asked.

"Heheh... Psych?" Sandstorm said shyly.

"Ugh." Skrubface facepawed.

"Cmon, guys, it's now or never, we have to get to the 10th floor and back without getting caught. We can also get extra points for going in rooms and messing everyone's lives up, without getting caught." Bramblestar said.

1st Floor:

Dawnleaf went into some guys room, and heard... Moaning... A lot of it! Oh yeah, she just sliced open some Twolegs neck, that's why XD. +10 PTS

Lionblaze went into some kids room and saw him playing with his balls... He plopped next to him and started doing the same. And yes, they were all bought from the Dollar 50 Cents store! HE WAS CAUGHT! ELIMIINATED!

Bramblestar went into a room and saw a guy naked... But then when he came out of bed he was wearing boxer short and pants. ELIMINATED!

Lilyheart went into a room and saw a twoleg silencing. She brutally murdered him. +10 PTS!

The rest of the cats went to the 2nd floor for whatever reason.

Skrubface finished! "YEAH!" He panted.. With 0 points. "WHAT?!"

2nd floor:

Firestar went into someone's room and licked a twoleg kit's leg.

"Ah... A kitty AHHH! OH MY GOD! NJhhahahahahhahaha!"

+5 PTS.

"What?! Why didn't I get ten?!" Firestar snapped.

"Because the person you murdered was my little cousin!" Skrubface screamed from below.

"Oh."

Sandstorm went into some guys room and saw him watching... Yeah I don't want to tell you. Do you seriously want to know? Are you sure? Are you very sure? Ok, but you'll be scarred for life. He was watching Sandstorm die on camera. Then he looked back and saw... THE GUY WAS HER INFECTED SHOULDER WOUND!

"NOOOOOOOoooooo!" Sandstorm screamed as she died again. ELIMINATED.

Graystripe went into some guys room and peed, then limped out. +3 PTS.

Dawnleaf went into a room and made dirt on some twoleg kit's head. +3 PTS.

"Why 3?!" She screamed.

"BECAUSE THAT WAS MY SISTER!" Skrubface screamed. "WHATS WRONG WITH YOU GUYS!?"

 **To be continued... Laterrrrrrrrrrrr**


	14. IMPORTANT!

**Hey guys! This is actually just a VERY IMPORTANT announcement. This is my major story ATM. My other stories (ex: FNAW, Into the Wild on Skrub, Google Translator, future stories, etc.) will almost never be updated until my main focus is on them. But honestly, I want to stick with one story at a time. I might also skip the hotel thing XD. Thank you guys so much! Also, I'm thinking of adding a chapter FILLED with clichés, so prepare your butt for stuff you once loved, but you hate now! With MANY Mary-Sues, Gary-Moos, Vines, Memes, Fart Jokes, Catmint Parties, and... EXTREMELY BAD EXAGERATION JOKES!**

 **Also, I might start a new Warrior Games sometime soon. Thank you for your support!**

 **Shoutout to Dusk the Little Kitten!**


	15. Cliche With a Chance of Accent

**Ok, here is the cliché chapter. ;) THIS IS ALSO THE FIRST SPECIAL CHAPTER OF ANY OF MY STORIES! :) Enjoy!**

 **Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING EXCEPT FOR MY OCS!**

Lilyheart woke up inside of a monster. She then somehow opened it, and saw an asylum. Then she realized, and looked up. "SKRUBFACE!"

I wasn't silencing!

"ITS NOT ABOUT THAT! IT'S THAT THIS IS ONE OF THE BIGGEST CLICHÈS IN ANY HORROR STORY EVER!"

Fine, I'll send you back home.

Lilyheart went back home to see everyone asleep.

"What... Were they high on catmint!?"

Yes...

"AUGH..."

"LOOK, ITS MARYSUEPAW AND GARYMOOPAW!" Somecat screamed, and every cat woke up and went to them, drooling, even the... Kits...?

"REALLY?!" Lilyheart screamed. "I THOUGHT YOU WERE CREATING SOMETHING NEW WHEN YOU DID THE SILENCING THINGY! AND ALL OF MY KIN BECOMING APPENTICES! YOU IDIOT!"

Wow, and I thought you hated silencing.

"YEAH, BUT, THIS IS SO CLICHÈY! NO CAT CAN SURVIVE WITH THIS!

Except the cats who are-

"SHUT UP!"

"Hey, what's 9+10?" Youstupid said.

"19!" Nerdkit screamed.

"21!" Thatvinekit said.

"NO! NO NO NO NO NO NO!" Nerdkit raged. "AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"hai... I'm from STUPIDCLAN!" Dummostar said.

"WTF?!" Lilyheart and Nerdkit exclaimed.

"Lol I'm a turtle." Donutpoop said.

"NOO! Your an elephant!" Dogpoop said.

"Look, Skrubface." Jayfeather grumpied.

DONT DO IT JAYFEATHER, I CAN CONTROL YOU, REMEMBER?

Jayfeather shied away.

"I should've mentioned this a while ago, but... Fourth wall breaks are probably the most clichéy of clichés." Nerdkit explained.

Shut up! Didn't you read the previous chapter?! OR THE F**KING A.N AT THE TOP!?"

"Whoa, calm down!" Lilyheart yowled and she grew wings, and she got the same punishment as Squirrelflight did.

Squirrelflight looked at Lilyheart with amusement in her eyes. "Take that, idiot!"

 **Alright, Im going to continue this chapter soon. Also, I'm thinking of doing a Purge and Warriors crossover! See ya ;)**

 **(and InfiniteDawn you aren't crazier than me.)**


	16. Clichè with a higher chance of accent

**Welcome to another chapter full of CLICHÈ-**

 **Beeeep**

 **This is the Illuminati. We are NOT bombing your home anytime soon... Just sayin'**

 **OMGGGGG ILLUMNATI CONFIRMEDDDNDJDKOFBbbdnsjdifr**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own ANYTHING except for my OCs**

"Hi, Clichèkit!" Lilyheart said to that CUTE WITTLE KITTEN! AWWWWWWW WHOS A CUTE WITTLE WITTEN!? WUTE WITTLE... Ok I'll shut up now.

"Why are we in this Monster, Lilyheart?

Then they had some FRIGGIN EPIC story and then they woke up and found out it was a dream.

Clichèkit didn't seem to care. Lilyheart glared at him and strangled him. "DID YOU DO THIS?!"

"Calm down! It's a prank, you're on camera for a YouTube channel!"

"OHHHH LILOLOLOLOOLLOOLLOLLLLOLOLLLLLL GOOD ONE!1!1!1!1" Lllyheart screamed.

"Hey guys! We're gonna do a contest!"

"YAYAYAYAYAYAYA!"

 **(A.N. This is when I realize Clichèkit was trying to take control of my story! I'm trying to make Clichès happen, but... Is it possible? Does Clichèkit NOT want to be a Gary-Moo, an unoriginal, boring old dummoface? I guess I'll have to find out.)**

"Clichèkit!" Skrubface yowled from StarClan as he came down from... THE DARKINA- (bleep)

"You're trying to take over my story! I'm trying to keep you clichèy but... This isn't even clichè, it's... Too original!"

"Howd you find out?! Fight me! You died 3 days old anyways!"

 **(A.N. CLUCK THIS KIT! Lol, get it... The... No?)**

A giant stone paw appeared above Clichèkit. It quickly feel down, but the claw hit Clichèkit and he died.

"Eas peas." Skrubface said.

"YAYAAYAYAAYAYUAYAYAYAYAAA!"

"Now... On with Clichès!"

"NOOOOO!" Everyone then screamed.

"Oh... I thought you didn't... RUN!"

LEKRROEEWOWDKDOSLSL (Spam for RUN, FOREST, RUN! Yes, Spam is a language. People who are scientists in the North Pole usually speak it, so when you see someone spam, don't get mad at them, you sick idiot! Respect them for the language they speak.)

 **And it actually turns out that Clichèkit WANTED to keep the Clichèness... And I was supposed to support him... :( And with that, ends Clichè!**


	17. Cloudtail loves clickbait

**I'm starting to wonder if I'm a turtle... OH WE'RE ON! Wait, this isn't the Clichè chapter... Eh... Shoutout to iiWolvesofRuin btw! Heheh...**

"lol I'm a Turtle." Skrubface said, high on catmint.

 **(I'm starting to feel like I'm losing control of the story... Sorry...)**

"Stahp! Don't take drugs!" Nerdkit exclaimed.

"SHUDDUP! CATMINT ISNT A DRUG! It's... It's like... BEER! Except it's easy to get high off of..."

"So it's a drug!"

"NO!" Skrubface screamed, and pounced on Nerdkit.

"W8! ITS AGAINST THE WARRIOR CODE TO ATTACK A KIT!" Nerrdkit said.

"SHUT UP NERRDKIT!" And Skrubface then attacked both Nerdkit and Nerrdkit.

"I CANT WAIT!" Bramblestar screamed.

"For what?" Squirrelflight asked.

"For Skrubface to run out of ideas, so this f*cking story can end and life can go back to no-"

Then everyone was high on catmint, and Bramblestar was on the ground being dragged by Cloudtail. "AHHHHHHHHH HALLPPP!" Then he was drunk, and was somehow getting sexual pleasure by being dragged. "OH YEAH CLOUDTAIL, KEEP ON DRAGGING ME! HARDER AND HARDER!"

Squirrelflight then screamed, "CHEATER!" and jumped on... Leafpool?

(Bleep)

Cloudtail was on his phone, scrolling through his recommended section, and saw Pewdiepie (yes, his name was Pewdiepaw and Pewdiekit) make a new video going against clickbait...

"You know what, Pewdiepie?! You're correct, from now on, I'll never watch a video with Clickbait again!"

Cloudtail checked his subscription list (and he likes those sexy Top 10s and Top 5s channels.)

"WHAT?!" He screamed. "WHAT THE FU- No... I have a solution!"

Cloudtail then deleted YouTube from his phone.

 **Now, guys... If you've read Skrubface's Destiny... You've probably been wondering, "Hey, I thought you lived in the future!" And... Well... If you wanted to know my backstory... No puns intended... Then... I guess I'll have to tell you...**

"I TOLD YOU, FIRESTAR, SKRUBKIT... OR SKRUBFACE... IS TOO MUCH OF A SKRUB TO BE HERE! Let's just send him to back-in-time-StarClan! We weren't stupid enough to not be able to control him! PLLEAAAASe!"

"Fine!"

And yes, I ruined this time and made the cats insane.

 **Oh God the insanity! I was forced to tell you my backstory, (NO PUNS INTENDED! STOP THINKING THAT THERE WERE PUNS INTENDED IN THAT JOKE! STOP!) Cloudtail deleted YouTube, Leafpool and Bramblestar are cheating on Squirrelflight with Cloudtail, I've lost my sanity and pounced on kits, there are 2 Nerdkits! OHH WHY?! WHYYYYYYYYYYY!?**


	18. Bleepkit likestoCECBLELELEEEERRRRR (die)

**H hi hi hi** ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

I OWN NOTHING EXCEPT FOR MY OCs! STOP TRYING TO SUE ME FOR SAYING THEYRE MINE! NAHAGAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHA

"I wonder what the world would be like if we were Twolegs-"

"NO! SHUT UP! That's the worst kind of fanfic! It's such a Clichè I should've included it 2 or 3 chapters ago!" Skrubface interrupted Bramblestar.

"WHAAIAIAIAIAAAAII! I JUST WONDERED!"

"Fine, I'll make us all f*cking Twolegs."

Then they were inside a building, with another right next to it.

"Wait a minute... Skrubface, what day is it...

"SEPTEMBER 11th, 2001!"

They both then screamed.

"AHHHH! AHHH! AHHHH wait..." Skrubface said. "Oh! It's One O'"

(BOOOM)

ojphhphpphphhohhhffffffff...

"Wrong... Clock time..."

But then they survived because I said so.

(I'm so sorry... My dad died in 9/11... Everyone bullied him because he was Muslim... He wasn't a very good pilot... Sorry I had to make another joke about 9/11)

"SO THERE, BRAMBLESTAR, YOU FRIGGING HAPPY!? We'd be in 9/11 15 YEARS AGO! GO AWAAIIAI!" Skrubface cried.

"CLOUDTAIL!" Brightheart screamed.

"Yes, Babe?"

"WHY DID YOU DELETE YOUTUBE?! WE'RE DIVORCING!"

"I-I was keeping away from Clickbait! It's like... I was cheating on you before, but now I'm not!"

Brightheart gasped.

"CHEATER!" But then pounced on Leafpool.

"WHY IS EVERYONE BLAMING ME FOR CHEATING! SHUT UP! CROWFEATHER ISN'T MY MATE!"

But then she added silently, "But Remote is."

"WHAT?!" Hollyleaf and Dovewing screeched.

"YEAH, THATS RIGHT, REMOTEY HAS LOVED ME THE WHOLE TIME, YOU MAY HAVE SEEN THE MOVIE, BUT YOU FORGOT THE DELETED SCENES!"

Dovewing and Hollyleaf gasped.

"AND YOU GUYS!" She looked at her children... And still Hollyleaf...

 **(A.N that moment when you realize you look unprofessional)**

"YOUR REAL FATHER IS REMOTE!"

"NOOOOOOOOO!" The trio screamed.

"Well, it's better than Crowfeather, I guess... And we're not Half Clan..." Jayfeather exclaimed.

"Oh yeah, yeah yeah..." Theymurmured.

"Wait, isn't Hollyleaf dead?" Lionblaze asked.

"NOOOOOOOOO00000oooo••••..." Hollyleaf screamed as she slowly disappeared.

"WHA-?! LIONBLAZE!" Skrubface screamed.

"I AIN'T OBEYIN' NO KITTENS!"

"FITE ME!"""

"Mjahaahahhahhahaha!" But then they realized they weren't attacking each other.

"Oh... Er..." The two angry (and somewhat sexy... Or at least one of them... NO THATS NOT LIONBLAZE ITS ME! SKRUBFACE!) cats slowly shied away from each other slowly.

IN RIVERCLAN... (This parts gonna be a spoof of Finding Dory)

"Hi, Mistystar, I'm Dorykit, and I have short termed memory lo-" Then she got sucked away to ThunderClan for no reason at all xD

"AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAJAHAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Oh hi."

All the ThunderClan cats stared at her.

"WAIT... DORYKIT? MY WISH HAS COME TRUE!" Bleepkit screamed.

All the cats turned to him.

"EXPLAIN!" Bramblestar strangled him.

"Cec (yes that's a choky cough now sthu (h is for heck (screw f*cking swear words))) I SNU- CEC OUT OF CEC CECTHUNDERCLAN CEC CEF AND SNUCK CEFCC INTO RIVEERCLANN CDWEEEEEECCJJCJCJCJCJCJDIDOSOS N I MET DORY YUCCSEEFFCC RRRR RRRRT TRRRTRR REKALAAPAPALLA DORYKIT N I LOVES HER SO I WISHED SHE CE NCNMDLLAPAPPAPAPQOPPWPAOSOID" Then he died.

"..." Everyone silenced.

Lilyheart screamed.

 **Okay! Thats a wrap! LEAVE! LEAVVE! LET MEEE GRIERVDE FOR BLEEPIITT PLELALALLAALLAWEBbnn!**

 **Im so sorry...**


	19. Hypocritical Change Mind Grumpy Journals

**Look, Dumbkit I'm not a turtle! Oh, we're on! Hi! This is Bramble-**

 **GET OUT BRAMBLESTAR!**

 **Ok...**

 **Sorry about that guys, it's just Bramblestar being stupid again... Ignore that skrub...**

 **HYPOCRITE!**

 **SHUT UPP!**

 **And btw: I DONT OWN ANYTHING EXCEPT FOR MY OCs. I SEE YOU GUYS! PUT. DOWN. YOUR. PHONES.**

 _Cloudtail's diary_

As Cloudkit:

Dear Diary.

Dear diary, this is my first day in the Clan. Everyone here is ugly and smells bad! I hope they all die. But there's one I kinda like. Her name's Brightkit. SHESS ROEOEETTYYYYY LOL. Oh look, Twoleg food! OM NOM NOM

 _As Cloudpaw_

Dear Diary,

Im so sad! Brightpaw is ugly now! But I'll be mates with her to make her feel better. OHH TWOLEG FOOOD! TOTTOTOT NOMMNOMMMMMMMM

 _As Cloudtail_

GRUMPY GRUMP GRUMP EVERRYOOPNMERR.

 _Bramblestar's Diary_

As Bramblekit:

Dear Diary,

Im a KIT! WHY IS THE FIRE WANTING TO KILL ME!

Maybe it's warning me the o so great and powerful Firestar is mad because of my daddy?! WAHHHHHH!

As Bramblepaw:

Dear Diary,

Yep, Firestar hates me.

HE LOVES ME

He hates me...

i don't really care...

HE LOVES ME!

As Brambleclaw:

Dear Diary,

Why is Squirrelpaw so stupid? We have to go on this frigging quest...

AND SHE WANTS TO GO?!

It was only supposed to be us four!

Not with that... Pretty.

SHUT UP!

As Bramblestar:

Dear Diary,

Why is Squirrelflight so stupid? I h8 her!

Later...

I LOVE SQUIRRELFLIGHT! WE MADE IP! yuwhahhahahha

Alderpaw is such a skrub XD I can't see why I ever loved him.

Later...

This world is insane.

I. Love. It.

 **Sorry, Im out of ideas xD**


	20. HAHAHAHAAHAAAHAAHHAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAAHAAAAA

**HAPPY 20 CHAPTER BIRTHDAY! FOR THE EVENT I WIL NOT VIZ INSNU TYPOS EVER! AND THE THING IS IM IN A CAR LOLOPPL**

ITS LIKE ONE OF THOSE ONE SHOT CLICHÈS EXCEPT WITH A WHOLE DIRFERRNT MEANING

"NO NOT VLICHES NONONO NO CLICHÈS" Cloudtail tail

"No! We will make Clichès! CLICHÈS CLICHÈS CLICHÈS!" Click whir screamed

"No! Clichèkit...? Wait. I thought Skr face Skrilled you."

"What about clicked air?" Clickbait kit said with a sexy pos

"NO NO NO NO CLICKBAIT!" Cloudtail screaemed

"NOOOOOOBNOOOOOOONOOOOONOOOO! LET ME CLIKCBAITBNN"""

"Oh my god Skrubface there's so much autocorrect and typos what's wrong with you?!" Bramblestar screamed

"odd you read the introduction ? I'm not fixing any errors I make XD how could you not tell?"

"Yeah, I guess you aren't that stupid!"

 **Alright, I'm joking, that was only part of the chapter XD just to show you how fast I type xD**

 **Anyways, today will be the day I settle things out with InfiniteDawn...**

 **I WILL PROVE IM MORE INSANE! jheheheheheheheheheh**

"HEEYYY JAAYDEAATHERRE! LLlllolilililiililill" Lilyheart scaamamed

"WHAHATAATTATATAY?!"

"IMM GIFHHHHH HIGH RRR UUUUU?!"

"TAAGGHHH I LOV CSTMINT"

"ThunderClan!" Blackstar screamed.

"YYAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAAA?!" ThunderClan screamed.

"BEING HIGH ON CATMINT IS AGAINST THE WARRIOR CODE! WE TOLD YOU 50 CHAPTERS AGO! Or maybe it was 8, since we didn't reach 50... Whatever..."

"SOOOO?!"

"Well... IM HIGH TOOO! SHADOWCLAN, PARTYTYUUEIEOEEOEOEOEODODONNNN!"

Then every1 partied lolo

"LEKSIAOAOAPWPQLOWKSKDMSPALA" WindClan and RiverClan screamed. "ATKAKSKSKCKC!"

THEN TEHY ALLL ATACKED WILE RUNKK ODPSLOSOSLSLSLSL"

"PHHHH I BEATYY YOULYLULLUPPUPb! yYAHHAHAAHAAHAH!"

"POLLSLOPAPPAAAPAPAPAPA" The Clans yelled as they fotted in Clan territory lol

ANNM DANN DEY RELIXED

"W8 DIS HAPPNS B4 IN 1 OC FEH DOOBOS S PPPPOOPLLLLLLLSHAHhhHhHhHjHhHhHhahahaah!"

"OHHB LOPPLLLL" DEN DET STOPED ATACKIK!

"SJAHAHAHHAHA"

"lpl

"LALALALALALAWHISKER"

"Y u say dat!"

"coz dats my name

"oh yea" Bramblestar seded

"Sai hay 2 DIS NOO KITY LALALALAWHISKER!"

"HAII LALALALALALALALLALALAWHISKER

"NP ITS JUST LALALALALAWHISKER LOP UR DUMMMMM!""l •.••\•

Infonite down den died coz I'm 2 D crazy lllllllpploplll

"HAHAHAHHAHAHINFITREJITR DOWNZ UPU

LOLSRT"

 **AMRIOTR YOUR FESEATT!"""**


	21. The dentist SUCKS!

**Hey guys, what's Chapter 9 + Chapter 10?**

 **CHAPTER 21!**

 **Today, since I'm going to the Oh-So dreaded dentist, I will be doing "the Warriors go to the Dentist!" PLUS "The Warriors Go To Math Class." Enjoy! ;D**

"Hello, Bramblestar." Nerrdkit the Dentist said.

"NERRDKIT?! YOU A DENTIST GUY...?!" Bramblestar shouted.

"Shhh!"

"THIS ISNT A LIBRARY!"

"But there's one next door... And these are the least sound proof walls on the planet."

"Now, it's ok, Bramblestar, you're in good hands! These are professional dentists we have here!" Dentistdoctor said.

Somecat then screamed, "AUUUGH!" And blood splattered everywhere.

"Oops... I think I might've killed Crampedpaw..." Crampedpaw's dentist said.

"Ehh... Who cares?"

"AUUUGH!" Crampedpaw screamed.

The cats from the library only said, "shh!"

"Er... Ok, Bramblestar, let's take a look at that-" Dentistdoctor looked at his teeth and almost threw up.

"OH GREAT STARCLAN?! DO YOU EVER BRUSH YOUR TEETH?! LET ME SEE THE TOOTHPASTE THAT YOU USE!"

Bramblestar gave him ThunderClan's favorite Catmint-Flavored Toothpaste, With Real Toothpaste!™

"What?! Catmint flavored?! No wonder you guys get high a lot! This isn't even professional toothpaste! We're gonna have to wash you're teeth with our Extra Disgupaste!™

"Oh the terrible memories..." Skrubface cried. "And I haven't been here for a year straight... I'm friggin' screwed... SCREWED!"

"SHUT UP! SCREAMING IS NOT GOOD IN THE LIBRARY!" Somecat in the library screamed.

"How can cats read?! IM SERIOUS!" Lilyheart screamed back.

"YOU ASKED THAT 20 CHAPTERS AGO! SHUT UUUPPPP! IUsuauaiisosososops!"

Then everyone silenced.

"NGAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHHHHHH!" Lilyheart yelled, being kicked out of the Dentist.

"Ok, Bramblestar, now we have to put that crud that you can't swallow or it will make you puke!"

"Oh the terrible gagyous memories... Especially since I have a terrible gag reflex... I can't even eat cor-"

"Gagyous isn't a word." Nerdkit explained.

"SHUT UP!" Skrubface yelled at him.

Bramblestar then threw up all over the place.

"AHHH WHAT THE FU-"

"Hey! I'm sorry! I have a bad gag reflex too..." Bramblestar cried.

"Well whatever, since you have about 12 cavities, we're gonna send you to the TOOTH DRILLING ZONE!"

"Stop trying to make that sound scary." Cavitykit said.

"I'm a day old and I'm not scared of it."

"Well that's because you're a little baby kit! You're stupid!" Nerrdkit exclaimed.

"Oh, shuddup!" Cavitykit said.

"Am I a turtle?" Skrubface asked.

"SHUT UP!" Librariesaresupposedtobequietimabossypants said.

"Hi Librariesaresupposedtobequietimabossypants..." The cats groaned.

The dentists by then were distracted, so the same that that happened to Crampedkit happened to Bramblestar, so he lost a lofe...

I mean life! Bramblestar doesn't like Meatloaf...

THE WARRIORS GO TO MATH CLASS!

"Hello... Kits...?" Nerdkit said.

"Hi Nerdkit." Bramblestar, Firestar, and Bluestar groaned.

"Wow! The last three leaders of ThunderClan needing assistance in math from a kit! Heheh... I'm honored!" Nerdkit said.

"Anyways, quick warmup, what's 93949202 times 394 divided by 50000 minus 503?"

"Er.. 21?" Bluestar said, smiling at the kit.

"No! It's 739,816.712! You guys really do need some help!"

The 3 leaders groaned.

"Cheer up! You guys will soon be nerd like me! I know it!"

The 3 cats groaned more.

"Ok! Er... Guys! What's 9+10?"

The three cats looked up quickly, with a smile on their faces.

"21!" They screamed.

"No! It's 19!"

The three leaders looked at each other in confusion.

"What do you mean?" They asked.

"Oh... Are you talking about that stupid 21 joke? That isn't funny."

"We're sorry." Firestar said.

"We'll answer it correctly this time."

"Alright, now, what's Nine plus Te-"

"21!"

"AUUUGH!"

"Sorry..."

"Good. WHATS NINE PLUS TE-"

"21!"

"NINE PLUS TEN!"

"21!"

And after it repeated for 10-20 minutes, the bell rang.

"AUGH! YOU GUYS DIDNT EVEN LEARN ANYTHING! GET OUT OF MY CLASSROOM! IM A FAILURE! MMMMM GRRRNHAHAHAHAHAJJAAJHAH!"

"I guess kits really don't make good teachers..." Bluestar said

 **But Nerdkit! It really is 2-**

 **Oh, hi! Heheh... I didn't think we'd be on yet... Er...**

 **bai!**


	22. Nobody likes Donald Trump!

**I'm just gonna have to thank my sister for this great idea! Happy nose bleeds!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own Skrubs, Warriors, Jacksepticeye, Donald Trump, Ireland, England, nosebleeds, or sharks...**

Nosebleedpaw was walking through the forest with his Nose Bleed. He turned around and saw 500 sharks behind him and Sharkpaw. "Ok, what the heck is going on Sharkkit?"

"Sorry, we sharks are attracted to blood, coz we're evil like that!" Sharkpaw said.

"Well... Okay..." Nosebleedpaw replied.

In China...

"HEY SHARKY JR.! I smell blood! Comin' from Murica!" SHARKY Sr. said.

"BUT WAIT! THAT'S WHERE DONALD TRUMP LIVES!" SHARKY Jr. replied.

"Who cares! We've gotta get that blood!" SHARKY Sr. exclaimed.

"OK YEAH LETS GOOOOOO!"

Pretty soon Nosebleedpaw found himself with all the sharks in existence, including Sharkpaw, on his back.

"StarClan! I must really be fat if I feel this heavy! Hey Bramblestar!" Nosebleedpaw called.

"WHA- oh..."

"Am I fat?"

"Why do you ask?"

"I feel like I have every shark in existence on my back..."

"Er... No...! It's just that... You have legit every single shark in existence... With Sharkpaw...? On your back..."

"Oh. That explains it!"

"And you aren't even surprised...?"

"Well I have a nosebleed! That's where I got my name, silly!"

"IM NOT SILLY! SKRUBFACE, JAYFEATHER, LILYHEART, AND SO MANY OTHER CATS ARE! GO TO YOUR DEN! NOOOWW! Wait... I am silly! GO TO THE WARR- I don't know what I'm doing... GO CLEAN THE ELDERS BEDDING!"

"NUUUU! THATS EVEN WORSE THAN SHARING A DEN WITH CLOUDTAIL! FITEE MEEHHHHH!"

Then Nosebleedpaw and Bramblestar fought.

Then Bramblestar realized. "Wait... Aren't you my son?"

"Oh yeah..."

"RESPECT YOUR FATHER! GO TO YOUR DEN! NOOOWW! Wait... GO TO THE WARR- I don't know what I'm doing... GO CLEAN THE ELDERS BEDDING!"

"NUUUU! THATS EVEN WORSE THAN SHARING A DEN WITH CLOUDTAIL! FITEE MEEHHHHH!"

Then Nosebleedpaw and Bramblestar fought.

Then Bramblestar realized. "Wait... Aren't you my son?"

"Oh yeah..."

(Bleep)

"AHAHAHAAHHH!" Evilkit screamed.

"Wait, are you laughing, or screaming?" Nerdkit asked?

"IM LAUGHING! CAN'T YOU SEE THAT?! AHAHAHHH!"

"But you're saying, 'AH,' instead of 'HA,'!"

"But that's always a common typo mistake thingy when people spam!" Evil kit screamed.

"WEL IT LEST SKUBFAL DUSNT MAK RYPOS N HAS AUTOCORRET OHH YEAH BABYYYY!"

"..."

(Silencing and Lilyheart screaming intensifies)

(Bleep)

"All cats who are less Skrubby than Skrubface come meet me under the highledge! DO IT!"

All the cats came except for Lilyheart.

"LILYHEART, EXPLANATION?!"

"Because I'm more of a skrub."

"EXCUSE YOU!? IM THE SKRUBBIEST SKRUB OF SKRUBS!" Skrubface retorted.

"NEVAAAHHH!" She screamed.

"THATS IT!" Lilyheart all of a sudden got Ebola, and she was 2.4819371028419 seconds close to dying before she was cured.

"SHUT UP!" Bramblestar screamed.

"Anyways, all the Clan leaders from around the world are meeting at the treebridge today... So I'm leaving. Graystripe, you're in charge!"

"Wha- Why not me?! I'm Clan deputy!" Squirrelflight yelled.

"NO! Graystripe's in charge."

"Fine..." She muttered.

5 minutes into the meeting...

"So, let's meet the cats." Starstar of English ThunderClan said. "What about you?" She asked Bramblestar.

"Well... I'm... Bramblestar of... ThunderClan..."

"And which one, laddie?" Jackseptistar of Irish ThunderClan said.

"America..."

"HHAAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAAH!" The non-American cats screamed.

"YOU MEAN 'TRUMPYLAND!?' YOU CHEEKY BI-"

"Guys! Stop!" Nicestar of Swedish WindClan said.

"NOO! W-W-Wait! You! American ShadowClan leader! What's you're name?"

"Er... Trumpstar..."

"HHAHAHAHAAAHHHAAAAA!" Then half the cats chocked and died.

"..." Everyone silenced, and Lilyheart's all around the world screamed.

 **Mkay bai**


	23. Warrior Cats are racist! AHHHHHHH

**Suekit, Copyrightkit, and FFNkit are trying to sue me!**

 **So...**

 **Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING! ABSOLUTELY NOTHING! HEHEHEHEEHEHEHHEHEHEHEHH**

 **But I own my OC'S.**

 **BTW: DEAD MEME ALERT. I just found out about this today, and I just had to include it in my fanfic.**

Spongebob was walking through the ThunderClan Forest, when he heard something...

"OH YEAH MR KRABZZZ!"

Then he heard a snap, and then a scream.

"AHHHH!"

(Oh no, I just realized how many sexual jokes I'm making... Sex jokes are PG-13, right? Please don't change this to M. I'm too young.)

It turns out was...

"STOP!" Skrubface screamed.

"PG-13!"

It turns out was hugging someone and they were shot brutally, because that's still PG-13.

No wait... Sexual themes are in some PG-13 Movies! Screw it.

They were "doing it," when his penis "snapped."

(Also, since I almost never swear but make sexual jokes sometimes, I...

Ok, maybe I go a little too far, even if I don't swear.)

I'm so sorry guys, I'm out of ideas xD

Anyways, I have a bad feeling about the continuation of my fanfic. Pretty much (according to this chapter, as you see.) I'm using dead memes by now.

Bramblestar walked up to the temple.

"Oh great Skrubface, grant me with my wish!"

Skrubface's statue woke and said.

"Wha- BRAMBLESTAR! It's 2:00 in the morning!"

"Yeah, that's the point... And yes, I was 2 hours late because I got high off of catmint again..."

"And?"

"Well, nothing e-"

"AND!?"

"Nothing."

"Oh, OK."

"So my wish is... I need powers."

"No."

"Wha- WHY NOT!"

"I only grant wishes after midnight."

"BUT IT IS AFTER MIDNIGHT!"

"It's never after midnight!"

"IT ALWA- well, I see your point, but... How did Firestar get his powers."

"Because he came after midnight!"

"BUT YOU JUST SA-"

"Yeah... But he commit suicide! In the foxtrap! When you saved him!

"HOW... WHA-?!"

"Firestar just did that because he hates his Clan, he's a worthless kittypet!"

"But what about Daisy, Millie, Cloudtail... And everyone with kittypet blood? Even... Squirrelflight!"

All of a sudden, Daisy, Millie, Cloudtail, Leafpool, Squirrelflight, Jayfeather, Lionblaze, Whitewing, Berrynose, Mousewhisker, Rosepetal, Briarlight, Bumblestripe, Blossomfall, Dovewing, Ivypool, Cherryfall, Molewhisker, Ambermoon, Snowbush, Dewnose, Stormcloud, Hollytuft, Fernsong, Sorrelstripe, and Purdy emerged, ready to attack.

"FITE MEHHHHEHHEEHH!" Bramblestar hissed, and then turned around at StoneSkrubface. "GIVE ME POWERS! SO ITS A FAIR FIGHT!"

"HEHEHHEHEHEHHHHH" Bramblestar cackled as he gained all the power in the world, and literally blew away and killed everything (even inanimate objects) within 100 miles of the lake."

Then he woke up.

"Oh thank StarClan that was just a dream!" But then he saw Daisy, Millie, Cloudtail, Leafpool, Squirrelflight, Jayfeather, Lionblaze, Whitewing, Berrynose, Mousewhisker, Rosepetal, Briarlight, Bumblestripe, Blossomfall, Dovewing, Ivypool, Cherryfall, Molewhisker, Ambermoon, Snowbush, Dewnose, Stormcloud, Hollytuft, Fernsong, Sorrelstripe, and Purdy right outside his den.

"Err... Every cat in ThunderClan with kittypet blood is right outside my den, is this a coincidence?"

"Yes." The kittypets said.

"Ok." Bramblestar replied and went back to bed.

 **See guys, this is a perfect example of racism in warriors.**


	24. Keemstar is a baaabyyyy

**Hi**

 **Disclaimer: I OWN NOTHING except for my OCs**

Malcolmkit was watching Pewdiepie videos and realized one thing.

"Wait... Pewdiepie has a girlfriend? MARZIA?! (Marzkit, Marzpaw...) I HATE PEWDIEPIE! PEWDIEPIE SUX PENIS!"

"What did you say about Pewdiepie?" Edgarkit said. "Err... DEUTSHLAND!" Malcolmkit replied.

"From now on..." Malcolmkit said once he was alone, "I AM MALCOLM1466KIT! I HATE PEWDIEPIE!"

"So you hate Pewdiepie...?" Dillonkit asked. "You want to ask him? IM A PRO HACKER! I just have up syndrome... So you must call me... DILLONTHEHACKER!"

"So Pewdiepie haterz will rule zeh world!"

But then Malcolm1467, Malcolm1466kit's older brother, came in and said, "PEWDIEPIE HATERS SUCKS!"

"NO! I HATEZ PEWDIEPIE! AND I HATES JUSTIN BEIBER! JUSTIN BEIBERS FANS SUCKS!"

"NO! JUSTIN BEIBERS HATRZ SUCKS PENISES!"

"I HATE PEWDIEPIE!" The three cats jinxed.

LOVE

"JIIINZNZNZNNZNZNZNZNZNZNZNZNZNZZNZNNZNnzzxxxs!"

"NO! JINXS SUCKS!"

"JINXS HATERZ SUCKS!"

Then DillontheHacker made a video of himself breaking his wall and pouring soda, and wishing he wasn't virgin and wishing everyone worshipped him. Hacker dreams.

(Bleep)

"Hey guys this is KEEMKIT! And let's get ROIIIIIGHT into the news!"

"Hey!" Englishkit said. "Are you making fun of English people?"

"Yeah!" Londonkit screamed. "ENGLANDIST!"

"Well yeah, I'm racist and I hate my fans, but... Englandist? I'm not sure." Keemkit said.

"And I thought your name was Keemstar?"

"Well, it turns out I'm such a f**king baby that they made me a kit again. I've gotta admit, it makes sense."

"True." Londonkit and Englishkit said.

"Wait... Aren't you guys of English ShadowClan? What're you doing here?"

"UH OH, HE FOUND OUT! RUN!" Englishkit yelled, and they disappeared.

"Eh." Keemkit said, and decided to have some milk from his "mother."

Even though he's middle aged...

"Gross." Brindlepoopy said.

"Got a problem?" Poppypoop and Keemkit snapped.

"Heheh... No honey, go on!"

(Bloop)

"Alright, guys, we tried this many chapters ago, we're gonna have to try it again." Jayfeather said.

"FIIIINE." The cast said.

"That's the enthusiasm level I like! Let's start."

(In the commercial...)

"HHHEEEEEEYYYYY BROOOO!" Lionblaze screamed.

"Ugh... What Lionblaze?"

"DO YOU LIKE TURTLES!?"

"No... Not really..."

"GREAT! THAN YOUD LOVE LIONBLAZE'S LIONS AND TURTLES CO.! We sell the SNAPPIEST Snapping Turtles and... Well... No Lions... But I'll cut of one of my balls and put it on sale!"

"Ohh!" She-cat voices said.

"YEAH! I LOVE TOY BALLS! Especially when they're all put together!" Dovewing screeched.

"YEAHH!" A crowd of voices said.

"SO GET YOUR BALLS, LIONS, AND TURTLES NOW AT LIONBLAZE'S LIONS AND TURTLES CO.! Call 292-938-LIONBLAZES-BALLS-ARE-HOT! 1 penny off for two hours."

"THATS WHATT SHEE SAIIID" Funnyjoke said.

"HHEHEHEHEHHEH!" A band of 7 moon old apprentices screamed.

"UR SO FUNI!" Spellpaw said.

"IKR!" Abbreviationpaw agreed.

"HEY GUYZ LETS PLAY MC!"

"YAYAYAYYAYAYYY!"

The lesson: Don't be like this when you turn seven.

(Blop)

"Dispatch, we're having a high speed chase!" Policeman said through his walky talky as he and his police companions were chasing a criminal with one of those black face cover thingies.

"STOP RIGHT THERE!" OfficerAnous said.

And yes I just made a Smosh reference.

"WAIT! IT'S ME JAYFEATHER! ONE OF THE THREE! I JUST NEEDED SOME HERBS!"

"BULLS**T!"

(Insert boom noises and screaming and shaking here.)

RIP Jayfeather.

But he came back to life because I said so.

 **OK, so let's break down to the moral of the story: Don't be like those seven moon olds, or else you'll be on a cruddy commercial, and then you'll be arrested, and you'll have to be a kit again, and once you're an apprentice, you'll become a Pewdiepie hater.**


	25. Leafy is Beefy

**Crazy story guys. I wrote this chapter, then I had to DELETE IT because I reached the 50 document limit. Thanks FFN. SO MUCH!**

 **So anyways, thanks so much for 1,000 Views! In this chapter, an event so insanely cray cray is gonna happen, and I'm gonna introduce a few new characters.**

 **Yay.**

 **I swear I had to write at least 1,000 f*cking words! I raged. I mean it.**

 **Anyways, this part is based off of this COMPLETE IDIOT I found on Soundation who made the worst songs I've ever heard XD it was just terrible.**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing except for my OCs. Now excuse me while I cry in a corner while I wish I didn't have to retype THIS WHOLE CHAPTER.**

Jayfeather looked through Soundation and was enraged. This idiot was copying all of his songs, AND THEY WERE SO CRUDDY!

"Look at this! They copied 'I am Sexy,' 'I Love Sticks...' StarClan!"

"Oooh I'm a genie!" Geniekit came into the Medicine Den. "I SEE YOU NEED AI- I MEAN WIIISHEES! You have THREEE WISHEEEEES!"

"Alright... But I better not die!"

"What doo you meaaaan?"

"Well... Most people who make wishes usually almost die, right? I see it in all the movies..."

"Well thos're movies..." Geniekit replied.

"True. I WISH THE PERSON BEHIND XXXSEZYSONGSXXX (and that not a typo) NEVER EXISTED!"

"Ok!"

Then Jayfeather sighed in relief when... Something was missing.

"Wait... I wish I could see..."

Once he could see, he SLOWLY (emphasize that) tilted his head towards where Briarlight was, but then she was gone!

"Oh f************ck..." Jayfeather realized he made a big mistake.

So now he had a dilemma. He could either wish Briarlight, or turn himself into a she-cat so he can marry remotey or stick without being gay.

"Wait... I WISH I HAD 828228 MORE WISHES!"

"Ok."

"Wait... You can do that?"

"Yeah! You watch too much TV, Jayfeather!"

"I can't even wa- oh nevermind! I wish that Briarlight was back, but never made her Catation account. And I wish she remembered she made that account but I wished it away."

Then Briarlight came back.

"I'm sorry I copied you, Jayfeather. I just really loved your songs."

"It's alright. Now it's gone, and I CAN WISH!"

(On no. Chaos is coming to this story, guys. What will Jayfeather do!?)

"TURTLEKIT! WAAAKE! UUUUP! Armykit screamed at the one-day old kit.

"Ugh..."

"I KNOW YOU'RE A DAY OLD, BUT THATS NO. F*CKING. EXCUUUUSE!" He screamed loudly (emphasize on "screamed.")

"Armykit!" Poopypoop scolded.

"HEY! YOU SLOW F*CKS! GET OUT HERE ARMYKIT! YOU'RE AN HOUR LATE!"

"Wait, it's my 6 moon old birthday?"

"OH MY STARCLAN!" Poopypoop said. "I forgot about that!" She started grooming Armykit vigorously.

"HOW COULD YOU MOM!? HOOOOOOWWWW!?"

"You forgot to."

"Thank StarClan he's leaving." Keemkit cried. "He's so mean!"

"Ahhh! He's so cute!" They all said except for Armykit.

"Blablabla Armypaw Blablabla." Bramblestar said.

"Leafypaw?! (Soon to be Leafyishere) I don't want to sleep with him! He's mean!"

"Hypocrite." Leafypaw said. "Also, follow and fav this story for a LeafyisBeefy poster! That's right, just click a button and you can get a free Leafypaw poster, right up your butthole! It's just a little too deep to take out... So you may have to crap it out, and it may get crap all over it, but you all know Leafy is Beefy, so please like!"

 **Love me. Do what Leafy said.**

 **AND YOU'LL ALSO GET A FREE PIKACHU! Yeah that's right, you'll get a Pikachu in Pokemon Go, right up your characters butthole.**


	26. SCREAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAM!

**Guys... I legit think I'm adopted, and my parents are turtles...  
But besides that, today we're gonna be talking about the Dark Forest's skrubby plans to take revenge on the nice kitty-4-shoes!**

 **Disclaimer: I OOOOOOOOOOWN NOOOOOOOOOOOOTHIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIING! Except for my OC's.**

This is the Dark Forest...

But today there's a slight difference...

THEY'RE ALL F**CKING KITS!

"Okay, kitties!" Walmartkit cackled. "Today is the day!"  
"The day... and?" Sanskit asked.  
"Augh! Shut up Sanskit! WAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! Anyways. We're gonna make a SUPER EPIC TIMES INFINITTY BAJILLION LILLION BOBOILLION MOKILLION DEATH RAY! THAT WAY, THEY'LL DIE SLOWLY AND PAINFULLY... Yet peacefully because they shoot F*CKING FLOWERS, ALONG WITH THE RAYS!" Walmartkit glared at Flowerkit, who shied away, blushing.

"WE SHOULD KILL HER!" Extremelysuperdooperooperevilkit screamed.

"YEAAAAAAAAH!" All the evil kitties screamedy.

"But... with _whaaat?_ " Walmartkit said with an evil glare in his eyes!  
"With MACHETES!" Machetekit screamed.

"Wait... as in yourself or a legit machete?" Legit every other kit said.

"IDK..."  
"Alright..." The evil kitties said.

"WHAT ABOUT WE THROW THEM INTO THE SNAPPER TURTLE LAKE!" Snappingturtlekit screamed.

"NO! NO SELF KIT GETS TO KILL FLOWERKIT THE- OH S***********************T! She slipped away! Nice job idiots!"

All the kits then started crying.

...

(Bleep)

This story was interrupted by Leafypaw for an IMPORTANT MESSAGE. "Hey guys!" Leafypaw said. "Did you guys favorite and follow! Great! But there's one problem... I accidentally programmed the teleporters to put the poster too far up your butt... I'm very sorry, it's impossible to get it out. If you feel like you need to take a crap and you've favorited and/or followed... It's actually the poster. If not, it's a coincidence. The only way to get the poster again is to favorite and follow ANOTHER one of Skrubface's stories. Thanks a lot!"

(Beepeepeeeeeep)

"WAKE UP!" Armypaw screamed at Keemkit and Turtlekit.

"Wha-? Armypaw? I thought you went to the apprentice de- *yaaawn*"

"I KNOW! BUT I GOT BORED SO FAST I HAD TO WAKE YOU UP AT MOONHIGH! AUUUGH!"

"F*CK YOU [Bleep]!" Keemkit screamed. "I DON'T CARE ABOUT ANY OF YOU! EVERYONE WRITE IN THE COMMENTS THAT ARMYPAW IS A STUPID [Bleep]!" (If you're offended and don't know what I'm talking about, this is what Keemstar the Human actually said in real life...)

"Calm down!" Turtlekit snapped. "You're gonna wake mommy and the other queens up! And I still don't get why she had two litters in 1 time being a queen..." He muttered. (Sorry if I said they weren't brothers earlier lol)

"SHUT UP!" Armypaw screamed so loudly RiverClan even woke up.

"What's going on in here?" Bramblestar came into the nursery, along with 76 other cats. "Armypaw? Should we rename you to Screampaw?"

"Is that a joke?"

"No. Your new name is Screampaw."

"Oh StarClan..." Screampaw screamed.

"It's better than silencing, at least." Lilyheart said. Then she realized everyone silenced, and BOOM! ( reference :3)

(Take 2)

Then she realized everyone silenced, and she face-pawed and walked away. Once she was a while away, the other cats heard her scream, "WHYYYYYYY!?"

 **So anyways, I might be taking a break from this story to write a new, serious one. I've wanted to do it for a while... But anyways... Enjoy!**


	27. Evil Kittens!

**Screw it, I can't take a break from this.**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for my OC's. I DO NOT OWN STARSTAR! She is from Starkit's Prophecy by**

 **!**

But guys... I've been reading some of the Warriors Books... I just finished Ravenpaw's Farewell, Mapleshade's Vengeance, and Goosefeather's curse... So why don't we see some more with them!?

Part 1: Goosefeather: The Afterlife.

"Cloudberry?" Goosefeather meowed to his former mentor. "Why do I see so many... alive cats here? I see Squirrelflight... But yet if I look, I still see her in ThunderClan!"

"That's just your gift... It's taking effect, but in... the 'opposite' way."

"OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!  
Oh hi Bramblestar! AND BRIGHTHEART! Ohh! Still hating those... Wait... I can interact with these guys?"

"It's complicated." Cloudberry explained.

"Well... StarClan..."

Part 2: Ravenpaw and the wait.

"BARLEY! BARLEY! BARLEY! BARLEY! DIE! DIE! I WANNA SEE YOU! BARLEY!"

Part 3: Mapleshade and her EVIL kittens.

"So, EVIL KITTENS, what shall we do today?"

"I have an idea!" Petalkit screamed. "I'LL PRETEND TO BE A THUNDERCLAN WARRIOR, AND YOU THREE WILL HAVE TO KILL ME!"  
"AMAMZING!" Petalkit's family said.

"DIEIEIEIEIEEIEIEIEI!" Patchkit brutally murdered Petalkit. "MY TURN!"

Larchkit then brutally murdered Patchkit. "HEHEHEAHHAHAHAHAHA!" He screamed.

"Ok Larchkit, now I'll murder you!"

RIP Kits- 393910109248473821-2016

"Wait a minute..."

"AVENGE US MOMMY!""OHHH OK! ILL MURDER LARCHKIT, FOR KILLING PATCHKIT, PATCHKIT, FOR MURDERING

PETALKIT, AND MYSELF, FOR MURDERING LARCHKIT! ILL DO THE EASIEST FIRST!"

"BLEHHHHHHHHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAAA..." Mapleshade yelled as she commit suicide.

But when she went to the Blank Forest, she only noticed that Larchkit was gone.

"Oh, f**k..." She then said.

"HEY MAPLESHADE!" Spottedleaf said. "THIS PLACE IS SO WEIRD!"

"Oh, s**t..."

Anyways, back to present ThunderClan!

"IIIIMMMMMM STARSTAR!"

"What?! Wrong FANFIC!" Bramblestar screamed.

Starstar locked around

"Butt werz firsar n gaytrip n Bakstr? N wei iz holif in sarkclan!1!"

"This is a different timeline... And Graystripe is over there."

"HRISTIO IZ HAV N MAT!? YYYYYY!? N Id b inoc 3 du usiss coz ov deh

10 comends fum sarkin!"

"Well actually, that doesn't apply here."

"O col!''!

"Gaystep mat wit me!"

"Eww no!" Graystripe ran away like a little she-kit.

"Dis usbcerse suks!1!1!1"

Starstar then teleported back to her timeline.

"HIIIIAIAIAIAA!" Seh sed 2 deh oder caz

"Haiaiaaaa!"

(Bleeppeoepeoepe!"

"Now that that's over, we can... Can high?" Bramblestar said.

"NOOOOO!" Blackstar screamed with a 4838293 gauge shot gun.

"OHHH NOES! ITS BLACKSTAR AND HIS 4838293 gauge shotgun!" ThunderClan

screamed at the same time.

"STEP DOWN!" Knightpaw said.

"NEVER!" Blackstar then shot Knightpaw with his 4838293 gauge shotgun.

"OH NO! BLACKSTAR SHOT KNIGHTPAW WITH HIS 4838293 GAUGE SHOT GUN!" ThunderClan

screamed.

"I WILL KILL YOU!" Sexygleam said.

"NO!" Blackstar then shot Sexygleam with his 4838293 shotgun.

"OH NO! BLACKSTAR SHOT SEXYGLEAM WHO IS A MARY SUE WITH HIS 4838293 GAUGE

SHOTGUN!"

This repeated with 74.4 (don't ask why I put the .4) cats, even though it wasn't much because of

all that ThunderClan has is se-

(Take 2)

...even though it wasn't much because ThunderClan has many cats.

Skrubface eventually got tired of what happened, and he spawned a rock above Blackstar until

he gave up and went home.

"YEYAAYYAYAAYAA! NOW WE CAN GET HIGH AGAIN AND SEE BRIGHTHEART STRIP!"

"YAYAAYAYYAAAAAAA!"

"YAYAYAYYAYHAHAHAHAHAWOL"

Then the world exploded, but then in an identical timeline, it didn't explode.

(And yes, this is slightly disturbing because technically all the cats we know and love have DIED,

because somehow this is the same timeline as the real stories that we read, along with this other

timeline, just that they were shown in a timeline different from the ones we are in now.

So whenever you read from here on out, you have every right to think, "Why are all these

cats dead in the timeline we were reading before, but this timeline went the exact same

without the world exploding? WHYYYYYYY!?" Its also disturbing in another

unexplainable way, but whatever.)

"YAYAYAYAYYAYAYA-" BOOM!

The world exploded again.

(Whoops, I'll look in another timeline.)

"SLAVES. SLAVES. SLAVES."

(Whoops, went to the Dark Forest Won timeline...)

"HHAEHEHAHHAHAHAA!"

Oh, this is better now!

So, next chapter will be in a whole different timeline! Yay...


	28. Especial! 28! BRAVOOOO SKRUB!

**This is a very special chapter. 28. It's not my birthday (though it was recently,) but 28 is the day of my birthday, which is July 28th... I'm sorry I didn't update on my birthday though! That would've been epic. But anyways, today we are doing a talk show: The Dovewing Lovers! (Inspired by the Crows Ladies Talk Show, which isn't mine!)**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own anything except for my OC's.**

"Hello! And welcome to the Dovewing Lovers Show!"

"So anyways, today out guest is Foxleap!"

"Er... Hi, Bumblestripe and Tigerheart!" Foxleap came down from StarClan.

"Hi! So, who's your mate?"

"Well... When I was alive, the editors said to me either Rosepetal or Ivypo-"

"ROSEPETAL! IVYPOOL!" Bumblestripe screamed.

"Oh StarClan, what?" They meower in Unison.

"Soooo... Do you like Foxleap? Any of you?" Tigerheart asked.

"Ew... No." Ivypool said.

"I'm related to him!" Rosepetal yelled in disgust.

"Wha-? How?"

"Im his niece!"

"Oh..."

"How did we not notice that?" Bumblestripe asked.

"I didn't even notice!" Foxleap yelled. "Turns out I was flirting with my niece 2 moons a-"

"Alright! We get it... Anyways, that's all for today!" Bumblestripe said.

"But wait! Do you still love Dovewing?" A cat asked.

"Er... I don't know... She said that... I had a lame name..."

"WHAT! HAHHAHAHAA!" Tigerheart laughed.

"Well yours isn't any better! Tigerheart just sounds lame!"

"Well yeah... Tigerclaw sounds better... and I guess... Tigerstripe! That sounds epic! And when I heard your name at the gathering... 'Bumblekit?' I thought you were a she-cat!"

"So that's why you flirted with me..."

"Exactly! You even sorta look like a she-cat!"

"So what if I like claw polish? It helps me take out my rivals in style!"

"Whatever."

"TIGERHEART IS GAY!" Retardpaw retorted.

"GO TO BARLEY!"

"Hey! Barley isn't gay!" Ravenpaw screamed from StarClan.

"You two would be an amazing couple!" Coocloud said.

"Gross!" Ravenpaw gagged. "We're just friends, and that's the wa-"

"BARLEY'S CHEATING ON YOU!" A random cat screamed. "With a she-cat!"

"We were never in love! He found a mate!"

"And you aren't married, so you're gay!"

"What?!"

"Or maybe he's lesbian!"

"YEAH! RAVENPAW, STOP BEING LESBIAN!"

"What the Dark Forest are you guys...?"

"You've missed a lot." Skrubface said. "Ever since I came, the cats became retarded."

"Cool!" Ravenpaw screamed.

"Not cool!" Blackstar screamed. "They're always getting high and stuff!"

"Barley and I have gotten high on catmint. He ended up stripping."

"Toms can't strip..."

"I mean he bought those kinds of shoes."

"HEY! I DO THAT TOO!" Brightheart said.

"Gross..." Everycat said in disgust.

"Not gross!" Cloudtail retorted.

"Stop! We're 3.13195829292948388282 minutes ahead of quitting time!"

"Oh, alright! So that's it for DL! See you soon!"

(Bleep)

"OoooooooOoooOoo000000000000000000000hhhhh I'm a StarClan guy! Hi Barley!"

"Hi Ravenpaw!"

"Anyways, people think we're lesbian now."

"What do you mean? We are lesbian!"

"So we're she-cats? NOOOOOOOO! WHYYYYYY?!"

"Nonono... Lesbians are cats who like she-cats!

"No, they're _she-cats_ who like she-cats!"

"You're such an idiot."

"I know."

(Bleep)

"Alright, leaders of cats throughout the world! Today we shall do... RUSSIAN ROULETTE!" Armystar of Russian ThunderClan said.

"What? No! That can kill you!"

"Then cats here with 1 life cannot play. Nocat here? Good. Now this is a real Revolver, with real ammo. May StarClan guide your paths."

Blackstar and Whitestar of US and British ShadowClan rolled their eyes.

Most of the she-cats were shaking.

Most of the toms were too, but others were confident.

"Anyways, first will be US Leaders. Bramblestar? Rowanstar? Mistystar? Onestar? You all here?"

"Yes." They answered in unison.

"Good."

"Now, let's do the first round. 122 OUT OF 122!"

Then he took out a rifle and started shooting all of the other leaders.

"HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHA!"

"OHHH they need some milk!" Milkstar said.

"SHUT UP!" Armystar started shooting Milkstar.

"OHHHH I NEED SOME MIILK..."

All of the leaders lost at least 1 life that terrible night.

And one unfortunately had 1 life left but didn't count right...

Rest in peace Bombstar of Islam ShadowClan, 93929283848-2016

 **Hi**


	29. Breezepelt for jail

**29 69 29 69 29 69**

 **Btw im so sorry I was gone for a** **while! There's been a lot of crap going on. But today, we will talk about getting TRIGGERED and how everyone is ThunderClan is RELATED to everyone.**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing except for my OC's**

"I PLAY POKEMON GO EVERYDAY! I PL-"

"Stop, Pokekit!" Bloopykit yelled at Pokekit, who was singing that Pokemon Go song...

"WHEN I WAKE U-!"

"SHUT UP!"

"I WANNA CATCH THEM ALL!"

"SHUT UP!" Leafypaw screamed from the apprentices den. Then there were other cats screaming, "HES JUST A KID LEAFY! HES JUST A KID!"

Then they heard Leafypaw scream.

"Cyberbullies are cancer! Keemkit, Ricegum (Ricekit, Ricepaw...) Leafypaw, and Pyrocynical (Pyrokit, Pyropaw...)!"

"Ikr."

"SCREW YOU TOO, KITS!" Skrubface screamed from the Authors den.

"HES JUST A KIT, SKRUBFACE!"

"Oh no- AHHH! STOP B**CHSLAPPING ME!"

"Hehe- ARE YOU SERIOUSLY PLAYING POKEMON GO, YOU F-"

(Bleeeeeep)

*elevator music*

"THORNCLAWWWWW!" Thornclaw was in the sun, eating a mouse. Lilyheart came running up to Thornclaw, looking dreamy.

"Lilyheart, no. I'm your UNCLE..."

"Oh, I forgot."

Lilyheart frowned and went to look for more sexy cats.

"Bumblestr-"

"Stop." Bumblestripe said. "Don't you have Snowbush and the kits?"

 **(A.N I actually forgot until right here that Snowbush was her mate... Er... I'll just move on to Ivypool...)**

Ivypool was looking around for sexy cats, when she saw Foxtro- I mean Foxleap, and walked up to him. She took a breath i- "Uncle." He said before he could talk.

Ivypool frowned and went to Snowbush, and as she opened her mouth, "Uncle." He said.

Ivypool frowned and went to Bramblestar. She opened her mouth, only for Bramblestar to say, "Third Cousins."

"NUU! I NEED LIFE INSURANCE!" **(See what I did there? ;D) "** He-"

"No f**k you say representative 69 times."

 **(BLEEPPEPEPEEPEPEOEEOOEOEOEOEIDIDOSOOSOSISOSOSO)**

(I'm gonna add 7 words now lel)

"HEY DID U HEAR SPIDERLEG DIES IN 'Thunder and Shadow?' It's in the teaser!" Blurtykit blurted.

"WHAT?!" Spiderleg screamed.

"Sorry for the spoiler." Blurtykit replied.

"No, not that, it's that I die soon!"

"Yeah! Pretty soon, once Skrubface reads the book (this is as of August 24, so TaS hasn't come out yet.) you won't be here!"

"NUUUUUUUUUUUUU YYYYYYUUUUUUDOOOODIIIISSSSSSSSS!" SPIDERLEG screamed at Erin Hunter.

"Sorry!" The EH crew screamed from the sky.

"SEXY CAT IS GOGO!?" Daisy yelled.

"You still love him?" Greenkit asked.

"Er... I mean..." She raised her middle toe. "F**k you!" Daisy ran away.

"NUUUU-"

(Bleep)

"So. Today we have a court case for two cats. BUT YOUR HANDS TOGETHER FOR LIONBLAZE AND BREEZEPELT!"

Everybody screamed for no apparent reason.

Judgehammer brought her hammer down, "SILENCE!"

"Objection!" Lionblaze yelled, being swarmed by fangirls. "I love this!"

"Objection!" Breezepelt screamed, "Fangirls suck!"

Somehow, it turns out Breezepelt had some fangirls too, and they all got mad. "Objection!" They screamed. "We love Br-"

"GUILTY!l Judgehammer slapped her hammer down at the fangirls, and starting repeatedly doing it while saying, "GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY GUILTY-"

"Objection!" Breezepelt yelled. "We didn't even start yet!"

"Oh yeah. So Lionblaze, what's your case?"

"We should send Breezepelt to the dark forest for good! He worked with them, how do we know he still isn't talking to them?!"

*gasp!*

"OBJECTION!" Breezepelt made an earsplitting (quite literally, in Bloodkit's ears.) scream. "Your honor, I cannot be. Otherwise I'd be driven to kill more, huh?"

"OBJECTION! Let's see how many cats you've killed in the Gre-"

"No, that's reta-"

"And you killed... Er... Crowfeather?"

"Objection!" Breezepelt screamed. "Crowfeather is right over there." He pointed at Crowfeather.

"That's Hollyleaf... Isn't she de-"

"OBJEE-"

(Bleep)

"No, I'm pretty sure that's Crowfeath-"

Judgehammer repeatedly slapped her hammer down, screaming "GUI-"

(beep)

"Oh yeah, that is Crowfeather! Sorry! Go on!"

"Anyways." Breezepelt sneered. "Lionblaze. Notice how I didn't kill a single cat in my life. But _you, you_ killed Russetfur!"

"OBJE-!"

"Lionblaze, you better not." Judgehammer started. "We have live tapes." She turned a tv on to show Russetfur's death scene. (Blackstar even started crying)

"Well, I hate your statement. It was an accident. I had powers, remember? And... Russetfur tried to kill Firestar! AND SHE WAS OLD AF!"

"OBJE-"

"No, Breezepelt, she was just about as old as Blackstar at his time."

"Oh." Breezepelt was sad.

"Anyways, with the following evidence, Breezepelt was..."

They cats all looked.

"Well, I'm quite obviously-"

"GUILTY!"


	30. A waste of the 30th chapter

**It's 12:26 AM AND THUNDER AND SHADOW IS HERE! CHECK YOUR PHONES STORE, COZ THIS BOOK CAME OUT 30 MINS AGO! I COULD BE ONE OF THE FIRST PEEPS TO BUY IT! IM SO HYPED! After this I will update the characters. Imma read it all tonight... Too bad it's a school night. Anyways, HAPPY READING!**


	31. CYBERBULLY CHANNELS ARE CANCER! CANCER!

**WARNING: SPOILERS FOR THE VISION OF SHADOWS: THUNDER AND SHADOW. IF YOU HAVE NOT READ THAT BOOK YET (if you didn't don't blame yourself. I read it in 1 2/3 days)** **THEN TURN BACK AND DONT PRESS THAT NEXT CHAPTER BUTTON! LEAVE! NOWWWW!**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own crap**

Alderheart was coming back with his medicine cat name and the other 2 medicine cats, and when they got to camp, all the cats were JAMMING and high on catmint. "WHIAWOWWW" Rowanstar said. "IEEE NEGER THOUGHT GETJNG HIJ CUD GET SO FUNNNbnnn! Thx Alderpaw and Jayfeather and Leafpoop!"

"It's Alderheart."

Jayfeather face pawed. "TWIGPAW!" He grumpied.

"What?!" Twigpaw ran up to the three cats.

"Did you find our catmint storage again?"

Twigpaw nodded. "You guys need to stop putting the storage in obvious places."

Leafpool looked at Jayfeather. "You're in charge of hiding the catmint!" She growled. "Where is it?"

"Er... I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I-I put it in the middle of the floor." Jayfeather looked down, dissapointed.

"Really? How did we miss that?" Leafpool looked confused. She looked at Alderheart. "How did we miss that?"

Alderheart shrugged. "Looked pretty easy to find fo-"

Tawnypelt came dancing, and shoved catmint in Alderhearts mouth.

ALDERHEARTS EYES WENT EXTREMELY WIDE AND HE STARYED DGOOKGG GINSANNEEEamkakaaklalapap! DUN DUN DUN DODPSPPDOSOXOSO!

"F*ck you!" Jayfeather screamed. "IFUFUCUXCUXUUU"

"I shouldn't have trusted him." Leafpool sighed.

Tigerheart came and shoved some catmint inside of Dovewing's mouth. "Dovewing lets-"

"YES! LETS GOOOOOOOOOOOOOO INTO THE FOREST TO DO IT!"

"OOkeysuayahahahahahaj! FINALLY!"

Puddleshine, the ShadowClan medicine cat, ran into the camp, then, when he saw what was going on, he slowly backed away.

Leafpool saw him and ran up to him, "What the f*ck are you doing here you rogue?"

"Er... Hi." He ran away as fast as possible.

Then a rainbow came and BLSHAHAHHHHHHH

(bleep)

Then a rainbow came.

Wait... Wait... (Insert flipping through pages sounds here)

There wasn't supposed to be a rainbow...

What the heck is

NLAAHHAHAHAHAHAH

(bleep)

BAM BADUM BADUM BADUM (I'm sorry I can't handle it im listening to some My Singing Monster crap.)

(bleep)

And now- SOME SWEET FLASHBACKS TO WHEN LEAFPOOL DIIEE- I mean (don't worry leafpool didnt actually die.) Er... I mean... KYS!

(bleep)

And now SOME SWEEET SWEET SWEEET (wait is that what she said OH GAWD NO) (I like how it's taking me 1/2 a page just to continue with the story. Word whoring ftw) flashbacks to when leafpool first became medicine cat.

Play that s**t!

I LOVE YOU BLEACHLOOL

(leafy references ftw)

"Hey Leafyblool!" A cat came walking in.

"Hi, Mousefur. And by the way, it's LEAFPOOL DUMB*SS!"

"Hi Bleachhottub!"

"Hi, Thornclaw. And by the way, ITS LEAFPOOL DUMB*SS"

"Hi, Cyberbully."

"It's Lea- Wait... IS THAT MISH-"

"CYBERBULLY CHANNELS ARE CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER CYBERBULLY CHANNELS ARE CANCER! CANCER! LEAFPOOL IS AN A**HOLE LEAFPOOL IS A RETARD LEAFPOOL IS AN A**HOLE WHO BULLIES LITTLE KITS! LEAFPOOL! JAYFEATHER! BERRYNOSE AND BLACKSTAR THEY ARE ALL CANCER!"

"Who the heck is Jayfeather?"

"You'll find out soon."

 **Im so sorry for not uploading! And yes I'm obsessed with Misha, but yet I hate him so much. I'm gonna work on this a lot for the next couple of hours. Thanks!**


	32. MAPLE IS A SNAKEHOLE! MAPLE IS A POPTART

**I've been sitting in this car 1 1/2 hours straight, and it's my 2nd chapter I'm making for this today. I literally listened to Misha 4 times straight, so now I HAVE TO make a Warriors parody. Forgive me.**

 **Disclaimer: I got 69 copyright claims. F*CK YOU I DONT OWN CRAP**

You are about to witness the true knowledge of a FAGGOT

THE DARK FOREST IS CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER THE DARK FOREST IS CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER THE DARK FOREST IS CANCER CANCER THE DARK FOREST IS CANCER! CANCER!

MAPLE IS A SNAKEHOLE! MAPLE IS A POP TART! MAPLE IS A SNAKEHOLE WHO MANIPULATES LITTLE KITS!

Mapleshade! Thistleclaw! Brokenstar and Tigerstar ARE ALL POP TARTS!

THE DARK FOREST IS CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER THE DARK FOREST IS CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER THE DARK FOREST IS CANCER CANCER THE DARK FOREST IS CANCER! CANCER!

ASHFUR IS A SNAKEHOLE! ASHFUR IS A POP TART! ASHFUR IS A POPTART WHO BULLIES FOSTER MOTHERS!

BERRYNOSE! DARKTAIL! NEEDLETAIL AND ASHFUR ARE ALL POP TARTS!

I AM THE VOICE OF FAGGOTS!

MY NAME IS MISHAKIT!

AND I DECLARE WAR ON ALL DARK FORESTIANS!

STOP MANIPULATING LITTLE KITS!

THESE THINGS NEED TO END!

YOU ARE CANCER!

THE DARK FOREST IS CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER THE DARK FOREST IS CANCER CANCER CANCER CANCER THE DARK FOREST IS CANCER CANCER THE DARK FOREST IS CANCER! CANCER!

THE DARK FOREST IS ZIKA! ZIKA! THE DARK FOREST IS ZIKA! ZIKA! THE DARK FOREST IS ZIKA! ZIKA! THE DARK FOREST IS CANNFERR R!

MISHA IS BAE

Did you guys like that? I'll be doing more technologo in another chapter. I'll most likely make it today. THANSS!


	33. Fire X

**Im so sorry I haven't updated in so long! I'm excited to get this running because Death Awaits is out of the way...**

 **But a Real Anarchy is here Sooooo... yea.**

 **HAPPY SPOOX DAY!**

 **SPOOX DAY SPECIAL**

 **Holy crap... It's been over a month since I've updated**

Everything was normal in ShadowClan...

The f!cking tyranny.

"OK U GO KIL THUDERLCAN.!/" Darktail sa-

"TWIK OW TEWEAET!"

"OH OH MY GOD!"

rumble rumble rumble

thumble thumble thumble

"SOOOO MANY KITS AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHH!"

"GICE USS CANDYSYYYBbbn!" The 20191 kits said, all from different Clans.

"WHOSE KITS ARE THESE, DUSTPELT AND FE-"

(blepp)

"WHOSE KITS ARE THESE?! THUNDERCLAN KITS!?"

"NO IM WINDXLAN

RIVERLCAN!"

The WindClan and RiverClan kits yelled.

"GIVDS US CANNDY!" The kits repeated.

"ROWANSTAR, CANDY!" Darktail said.

"Er... I forgot to go to the store so I just L-"

"TOULE POPER ATICJ!" The apprentices screamed.

"TOIWLERRDS OAPEER!.!.!&/9-0

AHHAIAOAOAOAOKAJAHHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHH ! G(sorry I'm hyper off of pre-Halloween candy)

"AAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAH NOOOOOOOOOOO OUR BEUAITILF CLAN!3&292920 You 0wl (lol autocorrect ftw)

"KILL YOURLAF!'"

later in windclan...

"YOU! GO DO SOMETHING TO PISS ME-" Onestar stopped with a

Runble rumble

thumble thumble

"WHAT IS THAT SOUNSNB! whahhaahuauauai! IS IT BLUESTAR-SAN!? COZI IF ITSZ BLUESTAT-KUN I SOMT MIND!"

"TREICK OR TRIEIWIAIAIAIAIAIATTTT!"

THE 29191 KITS OF THE OTHER CLANS CAME PILING INTO THE WINDCLAN CAMP

"WHATSY ISISS THIIISISISIAIISISISISISIISISISISISSSSSSSSSAAAASS! MIE THEM! KILLLL THEMEMEML LALLALALALLALALAALALALLLLLLL"! KILL THEMEMSMSMMM!"

(bleep)

In RiverClan camp

"whatever."

in thundrclan camp

"We're perfect so whatever"

 **im bored af so I'm gonna do an overused idea**

"OHHHH MYTYY GOOOOOOOODDDDDDDD!" Twigpaw yelled.

"WHAATTT6v'!38/99? ?!" Alderheart yelled

"WERE ON !"

"Wait wtf click on Warriors Get Technologo" Blackstar said.

"Ok."

"OHH! NUUUUUUU!" Lilyheart SCRMEED!

"ITS THE PAST!"

"Wait... go to chapter 32..."

"Holy ship! It's us... OUR LIVES GET DISCONTINUED!"

"AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!"

"WAIT LOOK AT ROMANCE!" Firestar came from Hell-

(bleep)

Firestar came from StarClan.

"Fire X Sand? Ok. Ok." He said.

"Fire X... WHITE!"

Whitestorm came down from StarClan. "NOOOOOOOOO!"

"FIRE X STAR! I CANNOT BE WITH STARGLEAM!"

"WHITE X DARK?!"

"I ship that."

There were murmurs of agreement.

"CREEOPOS! WAAAH MOMMMYYYYY!"

"HOW DARE YOU!" Snowfur yelled.

"GUYS ITS NORTH KOREA FIRESTAR!"

AAAAAAAaaaahahahhahah...

(IF FIRESTAR WAS...)

If firestar was hitler

"KILL ALL CATS BUT GINGER CATS!"

"WHAT?! WE'RE MATES!" Sandstorm cried.

"NOT ANYMORE!" Firestar looked weird at Sandstorm and killed her with a chainsaw.

If Firestar was Trump

"WE'RE GONNA BUILD A WALL OVER THE SHADOWCLAN TERRITORY!"

"FRIK YESHAHAHAHAH!" The Firetrump supporters screamed.

"PSYCH! U SUKK!"

"FITE ME!" Tigerclint-

"Wait." Firestar said. "Is Tigerstar transgender in this?"

Listen, there are fanfics where you guys are f*cking humans. You should thank starclan you arent in that universe.

"Fine."

THEN I FOUND IT

I FOUND THE WORST FANFIC EVER

"OHHH GOO- I MEAN STARCLAN!" Firestar screamed.

MY EYES NEED BLEACHING

SKRUB X FIRE

(cliff hanger)


	34. Evil Doctor Bad Grammar

**NOOOOO STOOOOOPP!**

 **THIS CANT BE!**

 **THERES A SKRUB X FIRE FANFIC!**

 **NOOOO!**

 **Lets just get right into it, shall we?**

 **(I don't own anything here except my OCS)**

Skrubface was walking around camp. Firestar was also walking around camp.

 **(SF: Not too bad so far.**

 **FS: Let's hope it won't get too bad later.)**

There were so many cats that seemed to love eachother.

"I totally need a mate." Skrubface thought sadly.

"Why doesn't Sandstorm seem to love me? She's over there talking to Dustpelt... She hasn't spoken to me like that in moons!" Firestar thought.

 **(FS: Sandstorm wouldn't do that.**

 **SF: (holy crap I just realized that their initials are each others backwards)**

 **SF: I'm a ladies man.**

 **FS: No you aren't.**

 **SF: Says who?**

 **FS: This fanfic)**

The the two bumped into eachother and... their mouths went together.

 **(SF: JESUS CHRIST (it's Jason Bourne!)**

 **FS: NONONOONOONONO!)**

They continued to kiss for a long time.

 **(FS: Nope im done.**

 **SF: TURN IT TF OFF!)**

"Well, that was preeeeetty awkward." Firestar said.

"I ship that!" Sandstorm shouted.

"WHAT THE F!K SANDSTORM WE'RE MATES!"

"WELL I CAN HAVE MY OWN OPINIONS! IF YOU DO THAT ILL GO AHEAD AND START DATING A CAT IN THEIR SLEEP SO IM OCCUPIED!"

"IM NOT GAY SANDSTORM!"

"NEVER SAID YOU WERE I JUST SHIP FIREFACE!"

"WELL I DONT KNOW WHATS WRONG WITH YOU BECAUSE, AGAIN.

1) WE'RE MATES

and

2) IM NOT! GAYYAAYAYAYAYY!"

(bleep)

(this story has been interrupted by an important mess- STOP FLIRTING WITH ME LEA-)

COME TOOOOOOOOOO CROWFEAAAATHEERRRRSSSSS APPLE PEN STORE!

YOU CAN GET APPLE PENS!

PINEAPPLE PENS!

THE LAZY TOWN WE ARE #1 MEME SOUNDTRRRAAACK!

AAAAAND

Banana Pens.

"Wait why Banana Pens that isn't a thing!" Breezepelt yelled.

"STFU YOU PRICKLY CACTUS OF A SON! SON OF A BI-

I just realized I was about to call myself a b!ch... or Nightcloud..."

"YOURE MEAN DADDY! IM GOING BACK TO THE DARK FOREST!"

"NO! GET BA-"

(bleep)

Bramblestar was standing on the highrock. "GUYS ITS 11:11!"

They all froze.

They were doing DA MANIAKAN CHALLENGE!

They kept frozen.

not

a

cat

could

blink.

Then... BREEZEPELT... COULDNT HOLD IT!

His eye went down a little.

5 seconds left

More

4

Help me

3

NONONO SCREW YOU

2

YES ONE SECOND LEFT BEFORE ITS OVER AND THEY PLAY THE DRUM

1

.5

"BREEZEPELT BLINKED!"

"NOOO! BREEZEPELT! FOR THE 50TH TIME!" Bramblestar screamed.

"HOW CAN I EVEN HEAR YOU?!" Breezepelt yelled.

"ECHOS!"

"ANDYS COMING!" Somecat said. (If you don't know what the Andys Coming Challenge is, it's this trend where someone says ANDYS COMING! and we all drop to the ground. It's a Toy Story reference

All the cats dropped.

Little did they know, this time it wasn't a challenge.

IT WAS REAL!

Andy from Toy Story walked into the ThunderClan Camp.

"SO MANY CATS WOOY! DO YOU SAY WE KEEP THEM!?"

Andy made Woody nod.

"WHAT ABOUT YOU BUZZ!?"

Andy made Buzz nod.

"OK TOYS ATTACK!"

ALL THE TOY STORY TOYS ATTACKED THE CATS! (What the actual heck am I doing with my life right now XD)

"IM THE EVIL DOCTOR POORKCHOP!" The Evil Doctor Porkchop said.

"AND IM THE NICE LEADER BRAMBLESTAR! I KEIL YOU!"

Bramblestar clawed Evil Doctor Porkchop.

"HA! HA! HA! DONT YOU GET IT, BRAMBLEBLAR!?"

"Its Bramblestar."

"Yeah, yeah. Scramblestar-"

"Bramblestar!"

"Ok! Ok! Bramblesteak-"

"WHAT THE HECK! ITS BRAMBLESTAR!"

"OK ANIMALSCAR KALM YOURSELF" (it sounded like kill yourself because Bramblestar interprets things through abbreviations)

"I KILL MYSELF! WHAT ABOUT YOU KILL YOURSELF!"

"What? No! Scambleseminar, I'm IMMORTAL. I'm a TOY!"

"WHAT?!"

"I GET REVENGE ON PEOPLE FOR EAT MEAT! DO YOU UNDERSTAND SANDBAR?"

"Er... I guess, but you're a toy."

"WHAT! AM NOT TOY!"

"You just SAID YOU WERE!"

"NO!" Evil Doctor Porkchop sighed. "Dapplestar, I did not say any of sort. I AM PIG!"

"Well then Ill eat you!"

"NOPE! BYE PAMMLESCAR!"

Evil Doctor Porkchop ran away.

"YOU ARE A TOY!" Woody said to Graystripe.

"No! I'm a cat!" Graystripe said.

"I WILL PROVE YOU ARE A TOY!"

Woody tried to "claw" Graystripe and make him bleed.

"SEE! YOU CANNOT BLEED!" Woody pointed out.

"NO! SEE!" Graystripe clawed himself, but in... the wrong place.

"AWW... AHHHH!"

"HAHAHAHAHAHAH TRICKED YA B!CH!"

"KILL ANDY!"

Everyone scratched Andy, and he ran away crying.

"RETREAT!"

Everytoy ran away screaming.

"Oh thank StarClan." Squirrelflight said.

"BRIGHTHEARTS STRIPPING AGAIN!"

"BUT WITH CROCKS!"

"YEAAHAHHAHAHAHH!"


	35. Crappy Birthday- ITS TIME TO STOP!

**Hello! I'm updating again!**

 **HELLO!**

 **i own NOTHING except for my OCs**

Cloudtail is hosting the WCT (Warrior Cat News)

"Hello, today is November 16th, and its

(super cool earrape music comes on

"69 DEGREES BELLOOOOOOOW!"

(shows 1 second video of Cloudtail freezing up)

(shows 1 second video of Tawnypelt freezing up)

"ITS SOOO COOOLD!"

(earrape music continues(

"OHHH OHH OHH OHH OHHH!"

(no life)

"Er... Anyways... back to the News..."

(story about Brightheart stripping again... and no I mean the shoe kind.)

"What?! WHAT THE F-"

(bleeeeeeeeeseep)

"I'm sorry, heheh, anyways, Bramblestar and Squirrelflight had new kits the other day! Here's the birth scene!"

(nope)

"Ahh! How delightful and cute!"

(back in the Clans)

"OHHHH MY GOD MY EYES!"

"GET THE BLEACH!"

(table flipping noises)

(back to you) (lol I just made a news pun) (kill me)

"Uh, yeah... And the kits names are... Firekit and..."

Cloudtails eyes went wide.

"Cloudtailisadisgracetourclank-

AHHHHH!"

(more table flipping flopping)

(beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep)

(bleep)

Back in the Clans, it was Cloudtails birthday!

"ITS A SUPER DUPER HAPPY CLAPPY BIIRTHDAY! (Listen we didn't have the budget to afford the actual song) ITS A VERY CHERRY (Jim) CARRIE LARRY BIRTHDAY!"

Then a cat sang a little solo.

"Nocat cares about you! Go and dance in the blue!"

"ITS A VERY HARRY PLARY...

Sappy biiirthdaay!"

(BOOOOOOOOOO!)

"Screw you all!" He ran away, and took Cloudtailisadisgracetourclankit with him."

"What time is it?!" Bramblestar yelled.

"ITS TIME TO STOP!" The other cats screamed and chased Cloudtail.

"AAAAAAAHHHHH!" Cloudtail and Cloudtailisadisgracetourclankit screamed.

"YOURE NOT MY DAD!"

"ITS TIME TO STOP

ITS TIME TO STOP

ITS TIME TO STOP

ITS TIME TO STOP!" The cats kept on saying.

Jayfeather ran in front of him, screaming. "ITS TIME TO STOP!"

Cloudtail ran to the left.

"ITS TIME TO STOP!" Berrystumpynose yelled as he got in front of Cloudtail.

He took a right and the cats gave up looking.

"OK Cloudtailisadisgracetourclankit! I have a companion! AND ITS THE KIT THATS NAMED AFTER ME!"

Cloudtailisadisgracetourclankit didn't even seem to mind. "WHAT ARE WE GONNA DO NOW GREAT UNCLE CLOUDTAIL!?"

"I don't know! Let's play a game! It's called "Chase the Jack*ss! Can you say Jack*ss?"

"J*CK*SS!"

"Good! NOW CHASE WHOEVER YOU THINK IS THE JACK*SS!"

Cloudtailisadisgracetourclankit ran towards the Camp.

"WHAT THE F-"

(Later on...)

Cloudtail chased Cloudtailisadisgracetourclankit back to the Clan Camp.

"STOP!"

The other cats below noticed him.

"ITS TIME TO STOP!" They all said.

"YAAAAH!" Cloudtailisadisgracetourclankit ran towards... Squirrelflight. "SQUIRRELFLIGHT YOU'RE A JACK*SS!" Cloudtailisadisgracetourclankit started prancing around singing "Jack*ss."

Squirrelflight gasped. "HOLY CRAP WHERE'D HE LEARN THAT WORD."

Cloudtail told her what happened, he was hoping that he would be the intended target because of his own name... but he didn't except for him to fight his mother.

"BAD!" Squirrelflight slapped Cloudtail.

The Its Time To Stop Guy came into the camp, carrying a clock that was pointed to STOP!

"ITS TIME TO STOP!" He said. "ITS TIME TO STOP OKAY?! WHERE THE F**K ARE YOUR PARENTS!?"

"ITS TIME TO STOP! ITS TIME TO STOP!"

"MY PARENTS ARE PROBABLY DEAD!" Cloudtail screamed.

"WHERE THE F**K ARE YOUR PARENTS?!"

"DEAD!"

"ITS TIME TO STOP!"

The cats then raided Cloudtail.

Once they pinned him down, Cloudtailisadisgracetourclankit came up on his belly.

"SQUIRRELFLIGHT ISNT THE Jacka- Er... Jackbutt!" His eyes went dark. "You are!"

"NO! Cloudtailisadisgracetourclankit, we're friends! ITS TIME TO STOP!"

Cloudtailisadisgracetourclankit tried to do the killing blow, but... he didn't have claws.

"Oh."

(im adding these words so I can get to 600 words ha ha ha)


	36. Why roleplays SUCK

**HEY GUYS IM SORRY I TOOK AN EVERLASTING BREAK XD**

 **HAPPY 2017**

 **MERRY CHRISTMAS**

 **NOTICE ME PLS**

 **OK TODAYS TOPIC IIIISSSSSS...**

 **CRINGEY 7 YEAR OLD ROLEPLAYS**

 **In the chat room...**

(btw I'm not using usernames thats a pain in the butt$

Lionblaze: GUYS LETS DO A RP

Squirrelflight: Ye

Bramblestar: Cmon pls

Tawnypelt: Ok fine let's do an rp

Tigerstar: All your grammars are sh*t!

Hawkfrost: Ye pls spel rite

Tigerstar: You're giving me cancer kill yourself!

Hawkfrost: bt m ur sun

Jayfeather: Guys stop

Hollyleaf: WTF IS GOING ON Hawkfrost & Tigerstar are dead, and Jayfeather is blind

Jayfeather: Yeah well I watched... or listened to a Stevie Wonders Documentary and I use text to speech... (OR MAYBE I HAVE SLAVES TYPING AND TELLING ME THIS FOR ME)

Jayfeathers Slave #1: Someone help

Jayfeathers Slave #2: WTF MAN I TOLD YOU HE WAS IN THIS CHATROOM

Jayfeathers Slave #3: GUYS GET OUT

Lionblaze: Ok just stfu let's do a rp

Hollyleaf: OK ILL MAKE THE SLOTS!

Dan: Super sexy

All the males: DAN

NO IM DAN

FK U

NO FK IDKESQOAOSSLEOROOFEOGEOGORBPJPYNYPBOQTWOTWPBTQHOOQTHPQTHPQFNPGQPNGWPNWGHTBLTB

Breezepelt: I'll be dan

Firestar : IM DAN

Leafpool: How about Crowfeather?

Nightcloud: Hell yeah!

Dan: My name is dan

Rose: and my names rose

Dan: Our son westley kind of glows and that's not good so we suppose we should let it grow

Rose: Our son Westley kind of glows-

Hollyleaf: STOP ILL REPORT

(Dan & Rose get banned)

Brightheart: Hello

Cloudtail: OHH RP ILL BE DAN

Hollyleaf: FINE CLOUDTAILS DAN

Ok so who wants to be rose?

Cloudtail: Wait is this the Lorax?

Hollyleaf: No I swear

Bramblestar: Let's just be ourselves

Hollyleaf: Fine

RP START!

Tigerstar: *goes to hollyleaf* hey babe

Lionblaze: *starts killing everyone*

Hollyleaf: What

Tigerstar: Wanna marry me

Squirrelflight: Wtf you can't kill people stupid

Hollyleaf: No

Hawkfrost: Hi silverstream

Tigerstar: Why not

Lionblaze: Yes I can

Silverstream: Hi

Ashfur: Hi squirrelflight

bramblestar: hi squirrelflight

Hollyleaf: Coz ur ugly af

Lionblaze: *attacks everyone*

Hollyleaf: *dodges*

Bramblestar: *dodges*

Silverstream: *dodges*

Yeah basically everyone dodges, and it's a clusterf*ck of conversations and "dodging"

gg

Onto the next topic: (I swear someday this is gonna turn into a rant story)

you know what f*ck it I'll just made random sh*t

"LEAFPOOOOOL" COWFEATHER CAME RUNNING INTO THE THUNDERCLAN CAMP

"MARRY ME AGAIN"

"wait wtf where tf is nightclohd m8"

"she's ugly af I miss you"

"Ko I'll just move out of the clans again XD why tf not" (LEAFFEATHER/CROWPOOL INTENSIFIES)

Then the two lovebirds... or cats... lovecats? Ehh whatever

moved out and then this happened "Nevermind I'm breaking up with u xDDDDDD"

GEERTTTTT PRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANNNNNNNNNNNKT SONNNNNNNNNNNNNNNMNNNMMMMMMMM

"WELCOME TO THE GAME SHOW FAKE LOVE" Alex Trebek appeared out of nowhere next to Crowfeather

"WAIT WHAT THE FLIP"

"YEAH BOIIIII NOW YOY HAVE TO PLAY A GAME OFFF..."

(Jeopardy theme plays for 5 minutes)

"JEOOOOPARRRRDYYYYYYYYYYYYYY"

"NUUUUUUUUUUU"

"OK ROUND 1" (w8 didn't I already post a chapter about this?)

The board had 1 column and 5 rows (I literally just looked up what the difference between columns & rows are)

the column said FAKE M8S

The rows said 100, 200, 300, 400, and 3.14159265359

WOW ITS PI

OH NO I DONT KNOW HOW TO GET OUT OF THIS TEXT SIZE

ITS ONLY LIKE THIS COZ I LOOKED UP

PI ON GOOGE AND THE FONT THINGY WAS THIS BIG

IM NOT EVEN SURE IF THE FONT SIZE WILL GO THROUGH

WHEN I SAVE THIS COZ ON MOBILE THE SPACES DONT EVEN XD

Ok that's better now

Now anyway...

"Umm what about Fake M8s for 3.14159265359"

"IS CROWFEATHER GONNA GET LAID ANYTIME SOON?"

Crowfeather rolled his eyes and sighed. "Nope."

AND THE CORRECT ANSWER IS... NOPE XD GET SHREKT

"k I'll do Fake m8s for 100"

"Is crowfeather gonna get laid anytime soo-"

"Is everything gonna be like this?"

"Yupperdoodles"

"Sh***********************t"

Nightcloud, Feathertail & Leafpool then slapped him

RIP Crowfeather 20293392-2017

(o sh*t the large text didn't go through sorry xd)


End file.
